Nov 30, 2011

Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! - Ducks preview and open thread


Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc! Louis Leblanc!

'stie de la marde c'est le meilleur joueur du Canadien depuis Stéphane Richer.

Oh, and maybe Markov.

Puck drops 10ish EST. Ducks are even worse than us, losers of seven straight, with a 6-13-4 record. That's something I guess.

Nov 29, 2011

TMS presents the Victoria's Secret 2011 Fashion Show Preview and Open Thread



There was so much coaching change news yesterday (hello CaoCH Kirk and Dale Hunter), and none of it involved CHokula. And then PatCHes got THREE FUCKING GAMES from Shanaban. One for the hit, two for not being a Bruin. All pretty sad news. So we must remember the important stuff in the universe - the Victoria's Secret 2011 Fashion Show airs tonight at 10 PM on CBS. As 4HF are long-time supporters of the Angels, we felt it necessary to prepare for the big event tonight with a detailed look. Fortunately, the actual fashion show took place weeks ago, so we've got the 411 on what to expect.

Hot - Candice Swanepoel. Fresh off her posing topless for jeans, Candice has the skillz to get a hat trick (causing instant erection, premature ejaculation, and having a catfight with another model) tonight. Doutzen Kroes (pronounced "Doubt-sin Cruise") is Dutch, meaning she can be tall, blond, and gorgeous AND roll you a nice spliff for after. Candice and Doutzen both have the rare (in English at least) O-E vowel combination in their last name. Coincidence? Not if you pronounce it "ooooohhhh!!! eeeee!!!"

Not - Miranda Kerr - SO 2008. We need fresh meat. Jay-Z and Kanye West - how am I supposed to masturbate with a couple of dudes rapping on stage? And finally, those stupid elaborate wings / back pieces. Total turnoff. And they just get in the way.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - some quiet time home alone.

GYFAngelsG!!!

Nov 28, 2011

A children's treasury of Dale Hunter goon-ness



Ladies and gentlemen, your new Capitals head coach!

Listen, the fact that he is the only player in NHL history with 1000+ points and 3000+ PIM is sort of impressive in its own way. And apparently he's been quite a successful coach in the OHL. But we around here remember him as the guy who started this with a shot to the back of Carbo's head while Carbo was on his knees:



Big Bird ain't gonna take no shit from him though:



Here's a classic cheap shot. Unfortunately it may give you all bad memories of a certain Gorilla play from last year:



Finally, we can't forget this classic. Dale Hunter will not allow you to accept his giveaway and score without a little payback:

The Morning Skate for Monday, November 28th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of smokin' a bowl with Miley Cyrus...
Happy cyber Monday everyone!

Nov 27, 2011

Naw, that puck's not frozen or anything



My only surprise is that the NHL hasn't scrubbed all evidence of this goal from the internet. Put on the tin foil hats today kids.

Nov 26, 2011

Dare to dream - Sid preview and open thread

Many thanks to you know who for the quality 'shop. She hasn't lost her touch.

So if any of you have seen the outstanding episode of Start Trek: TNG called Parallels, you know that there are parallel universes out there called quantum realities, where certain things can be different. This actually has some scientific basis in quantum mechanics. You can imagine a world where you're a little taller, or you chose to study interpretive dance instead of going to law school. My perfect alternate reality is pretty much the same as this one, except meth is a little cheaper. I'm easy to please.

So it's pretty easy to imagine a reality where Sid Le Kid only ever wanted to play for his childhood heroes, the Montreal Canadiens. After his stellar junior career in the Q, he would refuse to sign with the virtually-bankrupt Pittsburgh Penguins who drafted him; Pittsburgh had fallen on tough times following the tragic death of Mario Lemieux in a golf cart accident. Pittsburgh engineered a trade to Montreal, fulfilling the dreams of the young Sid. An instant sensation, Sid takes Montreal by storm, and wins the Calder trophy. He unites the anglo-franco divide when he's named captain at 21, giving every interview in flawless French. Two years later he teams with veteran centre Saku Koivu and a 19 year-old phenom goalie named Carey Price to lead the Habs to the first of their three straight Stanley Cups. He becomes the most beloved figure in bleu blanc rouge since Head Coach Kirk Muller led the team to the Cup in '93.

It's also just as easy to imagine a reality where Sid comes to Montreal, but his offensive output is choked to death by The SystemTM until he demands a trade out of town.

In our reality, Sid comes to town tonight with his Pens uni on. After two days of being back in the blogging swing, I'm already at the "Habs suck so I'm not wasting my time on them" phase. That was quick! So 7 PM on the full CBC, watch the Habs lose. Sid had three assists and a tussle in a 6-3 win over the Sens yesterday. Habs had 6 power plays that produced a total of -3 shots (estimate) and barely showed up for the PHucktards. This might be ugly.

Nov 25, 2011

Sexy Friday's triplets would like to remind you that today's game is at THREE P.M. - PHucktards preview and open thread


Ola, 4HF'ers! As you know, with our glorious leader celebrating his special bday in Barbados, you've got your former glorious leader taking the helm for the next week. Oh the humanity!

Anyway, this game is at THREE P.M. THREE IN THE AFTERNOON. 15H00. You got that? Obviously this has to do with US Thanksgiving which apparently is a four day holiday or something. But jebus, some of us have to work up here in Canada. Well, not me per se, but some of us. Though I guess you Euros are in for a treat with a nice prime time game.

I'd like to emphasize to you that this game is at THREE. You got that? In case you need reminding, three is an important number:

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three; no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Beliveau towards thine PHucktards, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Amen.

Don't worry about a thing, Three Little Birds told me this pre-game info - I've heard it's a 3 PM start in Philly. On RDS and TSN-Habs, and everyone please share your "alternative" video sources in the comments to help out your fellow 4HF'ers at work. Mtl coming off the shootout win over the Canes, Philly won in OT against the Isles. Habs 5-4-1 in their last 10, Philly 6-2-2.Their previous meeting this season was that kick-ass 5-1 Habs win after the root of all our problems Perry Pearn got the axe.

Queer as a three-dollar bill (NTTAWWT) - Broad Street Hockey is the best for all your PHucktard info.

Triplet interlude for the ladies:


Rising like my penis in the presence of the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6 - Lego, Lego, and more Lego. Habs third-ranked PK in the league.  Danny Boy had a pair in the Isles game, including the OT winner. Hartnell has 5 points over his last 3 games.

Plunging like the neckline of Britney's white outfit in her "3" video - PP specialist DarCHe now pointless in 16. PFK's offensive output. Bryzgalov may not be turning into Philly's goalie saviour, after giving up 3 goals on 9 shots in the Isles game and getting yanked before the first was over.

Hurting like HF29 after a 3-day meth binge -  no Gomereha, hurray! Long-term yada yada, though rumours have Vodkov tantalizingly close to returning. Both Jagr and Pronger are questionable for the PHucktards.

Establishment for your post-game table dance with three adult entertainers - Club Risqué looks ok. And they have an "upstairs" which has male dancers for the ladies. Win-win!

To finish off our 3some, here's a video of a set of sexy foreign triplets playing fiddles and doing the weather. OK then. GYFHG!

Nov 24, 2011

Not the Morning Skate would like to show you long-form video highlights after a win



Oh hello! 29 here, just wanting to say hello and tell you that indeed, I am the replacement for moeman while he's on the beaCH of Barbados with hopefully a lot of rum and women with asses celebrating his half-century. Enjoy these highlights while I figure out how to do bullet points in 4HF. Die Broonz die. When you're counting on CHicken to get you wins in the fifth round of a shootout, that streak's gonna end sooner or later.

As for our own game, well, we won. That's something I guess. Frankly we played better against the Bs imho. The good news is that Gomer may have a lower body injury. Huzzah!

Happy thanksgiving, American imperialist exceptionalist scum! At least the Lions are good this year, so we get a decent football game for a change. Now go eat that... turkey.

UPDATE - whoops! Looks like moeman posted before heading for the airport. Many hot pix below this post for you to look at. Have a great trip moe!


Almost gone ~ Pre-vacation post 11/24 (Habs won)

Island Bar.
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No tie, mai tai!
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Are you looking' at me?
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~ Tattoo you! ~
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G Y F H G !

Nov 23, 2011

Whats this white stuff? ~ Cane Preview 11/23

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After shovelling their driveways, Colé goes 'home' with his .500 Canadiens are heading south for a pre-Thanksgiving tilt with the Canes. G Y F H G !

• Gill to play. √
• St. Denis not. √
• PleXXXe will be overused. √
• Eller not. √
• TFS™ √
• Previews from TSN, RDS, NHL. √
• Need rum. √
New Smiths set. √
SnowsunsCHreen. √
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Josh.
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My moe-vember staCHe.
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Fell asleep on the couCH.
I know, I'm getting' old.
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~ Eyeing the end ~
G Y F H G !

Nov 22, 2011

Ha(ss)ppy Birthday moeman!


Let's all just forget about the game last night we could have won but didn't thanks to a fat tub of goo goalie, and join me in wishing our glorious leader a very happy birthday. It's a very special birthday, but I won't say what it is in case moe doesn't want to be embarrassed. Let's just say in cricket or snooker you would call it a half-century. No wait, that's too obvious, let's just say it's the new forty.

CHeers moe!

Nov 21, 2011

Beatable bastard broons ~ Preview 11/21

Fun Monday nighter with the tainted-Cup broons in town for the usual raucous rival tilt. Hopefully our hot Habs end the broons recent unbeaten streak. Can't do much about the yellow streak and brown shit stains that defines sCam neely's team. (Still can't believe that overrated POS is in the HHoF). Case closed. Previews from TSN, NHL, RDS, PUKE. Game on RDS and TSN. Starts at or near 7pm. We can expect NHL All-Star ShutouTFS™. Not sure if tiny tim thomas is still afraid to play at the Bell Centre. PUKE network has the return of Crosby. Welcome back Sid. Play well. Stay well. Speaking of playing and being well, I bust out for the Bajan beach and some flying fish sammiCHes on 11/24. A cool, creamy, delicious budi of mine will backup the blog.
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I'll give today's song to the fabulous Margaret CHo.
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Pretzel, you dropped your hat.
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Bite your lip 'til game time. OuCH!
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V R O O O M
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G Y F H G !

Nov 19, 2011

CHocolat! ~ Habs win 4-0 ~ Too sweet for words ~ Just lickable pics

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G Y F H G !

Burn down the CHocula Banana Stand ~ Habs vs. Rangers Preview 11/19

Name: CHocula's Original Frozen PP Banana Stand
Owner: Geoff Molson
Business Address: 24 Apocalypse Ave 
Type or services provided: Boring systemized CHocula-covered shit
Hours of Operation: Every fucking Game
Employee/s: Poorly managed
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Lost scene found on the cutting room floor:

Geoff: You what?
Goat: Burned it right down to the ground.

Geoff: Are you crazy? There was money on CHocula's banana stand.

Goat: Well, it's all gone now, and it was my decision. So next time we have
a little power play struggle, remember that we're not playing Gomereha.
Geoff: There was seven million and five hundred thousand dollars
lining the walls of CHocula's banana stand.

Goat: Quoi?

Geoff: Cash, Goat.

Goat: But he's proven to be a liability ?

Geoff: How much clearer can I say, there's always
MONEY IN THE CHocula BANANA STAND!

CHocula: Not touching PleXXXe!

Goat: Fuck that shit!

CHocula: Not touching Darche!

Goat: Give me the fucking notepad!

CHocula: Not touching my hair!

Kirk Muller: Can you believe this shit?!
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Canadiens play the fire-hot Rangers tonight. No word yet if tim peel will arrest the development of the game. So get your favourite cutoffs jorts on, puck is sCHeduled to drop at 7h00ish. Previews from TSN, RDS, NHL, PUKE.
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Tobias says keep your Pants! on.
The Preview is almost never nude.
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Click to unravel.
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Just KeepItSimpleSystem™.
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Keep your socks on.
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G Y F H G !

Nov 18, 2011

Habs need to focus ~ Sexy Friday has me seeing double

The D pairs need to stick together.
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JMagoo is blind to CHange.
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The eyes get em' all the time.
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BeaCH bum.
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StaCHe for Geoff Molson.
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The Ends.
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G Y F H G !