Feb 10, 2012

Will hell freeze over? leaf sux Preview

~ ~ ~
Climate CHange,
on hockey day?
Go Habs!!!
Go Sens!
Go Oilers!
Go Flames!
Go Canucks!
~ ~ ~
I can't stand it, I know its planned shit
I'm gonna set it straight, this sundingate
I stand by my plan of mocking leaf when I'm in here
'Cause my CHrystal balls are so CHrystal clear

So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fucking leaf thorn in my side
Oh my God, it's a MLSE mirage
I'm tellin' y'all, it's a CotU sabotage

So, so, so, so listen up 'cause cbc you can't win nothin'
You'll shut me down with a push of your sysadmin button?
But fuck you, I'm out and I'm gone
I'll tell you now, I keep blogging on and on

'Cause what you see you leaf lemmings might not get
And we can bet, so don't you get Campbell souped yet
You're sCHeming on a team that's a hockey mirage
I'm trying to tell you and your cockroach entourage

Why
Habs backs are now against the wall?
Listen all y'all, it's a Monster massage
Listen all y'all, it's a Celine camouflage
Listen all y'all, it's a Dou$harek dressage
Listen all y'all, it's a Hogtown mediot montage

I can't stand it, I know its just planned shit
I'm gonna set it straight, this 24/7leafgate
Lord, I stand by my plan of rockin' when I'm in this place
leaf fan you are a disgrace because you're all in my face

But make no mistakes and switCH up my CHannel
I'm buddy riCH when I fly off the handle
What could it be, it's a constant maple leaf massage
You're sCHeming on a team that's a fucking hockey mirage
~ ~ ~
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Bonus track
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168 comments:

  1. The leaf do not have the CH U R CH behind them, clearly Burke is jealous.
    leaf suck.

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    Replies
    1. He's the perfect leaf, an arrogant blowhard.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Replies
    1. heh, it was actually paid for and done by some CotU mediot.

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  4. Needs Must! If ever the Habs wanted to show that they are serious about at least making the rest of the season interesting for us, tonight is the night they need to show up. TFS needs to show us that when it counts, we can depend on him. PFK needs to play a solid, strong shutdown game with no stupid penalties and Y needs to show us he understands the importance of beating the ever living shit out of anyone wearing a blue and white maple leaf (and when I say "beating the shit out of" I actually mean "thumping them into the boards or laying them out as they cross the blue line).

    The playoffs for the Habs started a week and a half ago. They started slow but are building on the back of a couple of stellar efforts by TFS (how was he not a game star the other night?!). That needs to continue tonight. That fuckin' cock burke calling toronto "the centre of the hockey universe" just shows you how deluded he really is. I've lived in toronto and leaf fans make me physically sick to my stomach. They are not hockey fans and they don't understand the game much better than most people who live over here in the UK. They are all deluded. No one under 50 can talk to you with any seriousness about having seen a "great leaf team" nor can they tell you about what they remember about where they were the last time the leaf won the Stanley Cup. But you know what? - to a man they will fuckin' try to tell you about how great their team is and how much better than the Habs they are...yada yada yada - fuck off and die you knox nothing cocksuckers!! (excuse me...returns after vomiting)

    So I do not care how it happens or who has to die in the process - the Habs absolutely must win tonight. They are on a run and it has to continue with a win. No loser points please - no shootout win either - get a regulation win to wipe the smile off the faces of burke, wilson and every other deluded leaf fan from here to Timbuckfuckinto! If they play the way they need to the Habs will win. They can win and they need to want to win. Gomez needs to decide that scoring is better than not scoring and RC needs to make sure he uses FULC as little as possible (except maybe on the PP). The NHL needs to lock Lee and Peel away (or at least let them nowhere near this game). The Habs need to win!!!

    Thank you - I feel better...for now at least. I'll be back close to game time for a group channelling exercise that I hope you'll all join me in. Until then...


    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Mr. natural10:45 AM

      AMEN Brother! The next 4 Laffs games after the Habs are Flames, Oilers 'Nucks and NJ, after we beat them I figure they lose 3 of those four. Meanwhile the Caps are in tough playing NYR, Sharks and then the Bolts and Whalercanes. Go you PHuckin' Caps Go, you need to get one of the first two and then finish off the Bolts and Whalercanes.

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    3. Nicely done KmaXXX!

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  5. Righteous rant, KmaXXX!
    GO HABS GO!
    leafs suck.

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  6. Mr. natural12:08 PM

    @moeman, the shit laffs fans say Vid is PHuckin' hilarious!

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  8. the Maritimer1:34 PM

    Anybody watching Hockey Day in Canada?

    Go Habs! If you don't win any other games this season, beat the fucking leaf and spoil the Swedish meatball's party. Stick Burka's nose in it.

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    1. Nope, an hnic self-aggrandizing 'day'. Bunch of sick fucks.

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  9. R.I.P. Trent Frayne, one of the last classy and non-sycophantic leaf scribes.

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    Replies
    1. All due respect to Mr. Frayne as he wasn't necessarily a leaf reporter but an all-emcompassing sports journalist.

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  10. Also, a big thank you to all those that click and touch and tap (you too Anon);

    4HF ~ G Y F H G ! pageviews all time history 100,256

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    Replies
    1. Wow moe, that's impressive! You're doin' good.

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    2. Merci Moey. All thanks to you beautiful people.

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    3. Congrats moeman, you make us want to.

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    4. All good juce.

      I know I am an acquired taste but I will never lower myself to gregwyshynskish status of licking leaf & broon dick for clicks. Have I ever mentioned I think pfuckdaddy is a POS?

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    5. we are a mighty tribe of FHF delight

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    6. Moeman this is my first stop most days and for good reasons! Great writing, outstanding company and the Habs! What more do you need!

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  11. Watching Edmonton play pisses me off. They play like shit most of the time, but always come out like fucking Cup champs when they play the Habs.

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  12. Putting it out there;

    What are the odds the Habs get a late game penalty?

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    Replies
    1. Depends who's reffing, Incompetents Lee or Peel and they get hit early and late.

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    2. Toronto doesn't get called for penalties so expect Habs to get called for every sneeze.

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  13. Putting it out there, again;

    Supposed 'Canada' hockey day-ish shit, does hnic meltingly wax eloquent about career award-less sundin or concentrate on themselves (including #1 hater cherry).

    Bit of tid, xenocherry never, really, liked #13. Why? Oh. Why?

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  14. Moen up with upper body ouchies again.

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  15. heh, yet another leaf dick in mouth tsn'er in fugly sick fuck named mark masters.

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  16. Hey Kids! I'm back from the theatre - watched my daughter perform in a tribute to Queen Elizabeth called "Journey to the throne" - She was outstanding of course - but now let's get down to some serious business...

    This is a must win game for the Habs and I need everyone to channel you hockey smarts and willpower to get behind the boys as they face not only the leaf but the entire "universe" that is the CotU bullshit they will be facing tonight. If you possibly can, don't watch the CBC because they won't have anything to say that you want to hear. I want you all to cheer them loudly from the start and don't let up even after the lead has increased to 2 or even 3 goals - we all know that nothing is safe! The Habs NEED to win tonight and they need all our support to do so!

    Say with me together my fellow 4HFers - Loud and proud...


    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!


    GYMFHG!!!

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    Replies
    1. KmaXXX knows.

      GYMFHG!

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  17. cassie, putting the leaf loving ASS in cassie. STFU you sick cbc fuck.

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  18. Hockey night in Sweden? Fuck off heely!

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  19. Fuck off fried man.

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  20. Typical leaff - celebrate someone who won FUCK ALL!

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  21. In fact, someone should look at the leaf sweaters that have been retired recently and count how many Stanley Cups they won as a leaf...total will be pretty close to FUCK ALL!

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  22. Was that Daryl Sitler? Another leaf who won FUCK ALL!

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  23. R.I.P. Boom Boom Geoffrion, Calder, Art x2, Hart and multi Stanley Cup winner. Bonus, your true HHOF/star sweater to the rafters evening was over-shadowed by hnic's suckfest for leaf slug domi.

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    Replies
    1. he lives on in the(Y)

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  24. Sundin seems like a nice guy. Most Swedes are. But as a rep of the leaf you sir are an overrated CotU 'star'.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Steve, always one eye open.

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  25. Talk about a soul-less crowd.

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  26. Drop the damb puck already!!

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  27. CHecking in here for a quick GYFHG!

    I was gonna this say this is one important 4-pointer and that the Habs better show up but Kmaxx got that covered quite well!

    P.S. hockey capital of the world my ass

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    Replies
    1. iRiRi - feel free - the Habs need everyone behind them tonight. Besides, half of them will be puking up n their helmets after this bullshit finally finishes!

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    2. iRiRi knows, leaf blows.

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  28. At least the stands won't be empty to start the game...

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  29. Mats, you will love leaving toronto.

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  30. Gotta give it to the leaf and it's organ grinders. If there is one thing they know how to do it is the lame ceremony. Toronto Maple Lame™.

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  31. Nice to see KafKa rep the Habs with class. Always kiss on both CHeeks!

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  32. Kaberle - once a FULC always a FULC!

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    Replies
    1. Did you see Celine standing there not knowing what to do? What a true reflection of shit in the mud leaf.

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  33. Fried man says great speech. Sitting in his wet diaper, bob cold says great to see soup.

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  34. bob cold is a moron.

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  35. heh, bob cold calls Gomez 'the one goal man'. Weird he didn't call steckel the 'guy who took out Sid'. Sick fuck.

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  36. Patches will score tonight!

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  37. When Gomez is your best player, trouble ahead. Cole know the names of three players thats it.

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  38. Honourable kid in the Habs mask. Kudos kid.

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  40. brown going after black. Keep trying you leaf POS.

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  41. That is a penalty? Wow.

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  42. Lousy period period

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  43. What a bunch of leaf wankers.

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  44. Me thinks the refs are leaning a little...their way.

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  45. GO HABS! GO AND SCORE AND SCORE AND SCORE SOME MORE!!!

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  46. don cherry ice cream, cherry with nuggets of shit.

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  47. RDS discussing who they think was the best leaf of the mnodern era - Sitler, Salming, Sundin or Gilmour...4 leaf who won FUCK ALL!!

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  48. R.I.P. Whitney Houston.

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    Replies
    1. wow, loved I will always love you and her is the bodyguard RIP

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    2. WTH???? R.I.P. Whitney, we will always love you.

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  49. All right Habbies lets play, not just TFS
    GYFHG

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  50. GO GO GO GO GO GO!!

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  52. Colé!!!!!!!!!

    Eat shit leaf and cbc.

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  54. I switCHed to RDS at 2nd period. Too much sundin sucking.

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  55. 20th goal for Colé.

    RBQ!!!

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  56. Merquez-ish sausage from PleXXXe.

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  58. Fucking Ref, Patches was PUSHED!!

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  59. OKAY 3 shit calls enough

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  60. Heh, PatCHes gets cross-checked and gets the penalty. Nice try to get your leaf back in the game refs. Sick fucks.

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  61. TFS is in the hunt GO HABS GO

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    Replies
    1. Is he ever. Fucking solid.

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  62. PatCHes, DDD and Colé on the PK. Weird but fun.

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  63. Kessel tracker says your offside

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  64. quiet night for TITS

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  65. Read somewhere that the reason bob cold garbled so many non-leaf player names was because he gargled with sundin's splooge. Might add that to urban dictionary.

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  66. PatCHes!

    Eat that you sick cbc fucks.

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  67. Patches, yeah Toronto perfect stuff it STFU

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    Replies
    1. Only because the refs haven't penalized them. No other reason. Fuckface bettman and bryin bark are in cahoots. May they eat shit. Lots of it.

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  68. Leblanc looks like his bulked up overnight

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    Replies
    1. Bulked up on confidence. He is, dare I say it, PleXXXian.

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  69. Replies
    1. You beat me to it juce!!! Nice going.

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  70. LEGO!!!

    Eat shit cbc/hnic cockroaches!

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  71. What a fucking pylon Celine is. $6.5M pylon. Enjoy Elisha you shit leaf.

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  72. Lego orgasam, Celine plyon

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    Replies
    1. Legorgasm. New 4HF word!

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  73. heh, dumbass ACC fucks booing a shit, overrated team of shit overrated shit.

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  74. Fuckin' love Cole. Class guy.

    No reason the HHOF should be in a shit city like toronto, a true dump.

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  75. Chased Jesus out of the net

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    Replies
    1. heh, maybe my Preview pic was some foreshadowing. If so, long live leafelzebub.

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    2. The CH U R CH haven't placed ads in Sucktonto.

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    3. Ads in leaf rags are either too expensive or require some form of lame leaf suckitude.

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  76. Marmaduke <---- is it too soon?

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  77. 2nd period recap;

    Erik Cole
    Rene Bourque
    Max Pacioretty
    Lars Eller

    4

    Optimusprimemennonitekidanotehrlameoverratedleafgoalie

    0

    Also, too, cbchnic can eat a barrel of blue&white shit.

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    Replies
    1. Tonight they're eating bleu, blanc, rouge shit.
      GYMFHG!

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  78. What a muther of a period! Nice one boys! Not listening to the leafbc but they must be sick. Fuck you you useless lot of leaf loving shits. Lego goal was a beauty!

    But this is not over boys! 20 minutes more - solid RC hockey - don't change your style - push for more goals - no defensive shell - play the 3rd like you played the 2nd!!

    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!! Go Habs Go!!!!

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    Replies
    1. KmaXXX knows. No 3rd period shell game.

      Win this for all true and knowledgeable Canadian hockey fans across this great land of ours (despite the cbc/hnic bilious bias).

      Delete
  79. Company has departed, Mr. M has retired to the drawing room. I'm lovin' every minute of this game. It's delicious.

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  80. It'll be fun keeping an eye on the refs. They have their work cut out for them, after the NHL HQ talking-to they get in betwixt periods. They tried in the 1st & 2nd. Will they show some form of professionalism in the 3rd?

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  81. The replay of Lego's goal is funner every time it is 'replayed'. What a fucking pylon Celine is. Love it.

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  82. Lotsa empty seats.

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  83. DarCHe!

    Eat shit hnic/cbc.

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  84. Darche Vader destroys the Monster

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  85. TFS with an assist.

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  86. Fuck you burke !!

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  87. Enjoying the game Mats? Brings back memories.

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  88. I am now worried about the bullshit dirty play the leaf will start to come at the Habs with. The refs won't penalise it so be careful boys!!

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  90. Can't hide from the world that you laffs really suck.

    GO HABS GO!!!

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  91. With Moey's permission, I am having a splash of Amaretto.

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    Replies
    1. Moe, knock yourself out, I'm having a bath in it. *passes the soap*

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  92. Quick switch back and I hear hnic fucks congratulating the leaf 4th line. Yikes, take the leaf cock out of your mealy mouths already you sick fucks.

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  93. Lebrow needs a skating coach he looks awkward out there

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    Replies
    1. Easy on the kid, he has as many Stanley Cups as sundin.

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    2. He's a Francophone in Toronto. (borrowed from Sting)

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  94. heh, hnic fucks finds a Hab hurting a leaf. Losers.

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  95. gary gaseous shouldn't be exclaiming 'leaf love' on national teevee.

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  96. Divine intervention.

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  97. OK - here we go with the last minute penalties...I'm not listening but I'll wager the leafbc has mentioned the s word at least a dozen times so far!

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  98. Wow, sicking brown on Subban.

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    Replies
    1. Ref was giving him free reign till it became too obvious.

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  99. bob cold, still sucking sun din's flaccid stick.

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  100. Sweet.

    Eat.

    Shit.

    leaf and cbc/hnic.

    Sick.

    Fucks.

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  101. SHUT OUT!!!!
    WOO HOO!!!
    Refs could NOT keep us down!
    Biased shits.

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  102. FUCK YOU LEAF, FUCK YOU LEAFBC,FUCK YOU LEAFSN!

    FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!

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    Replies
    1. DITTO DITTO DITTO!!!! and the REFS TOO!

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    2. In the end, they even let them give HABS sticks in the face and played blind.
      GO TO HELL!

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  103. Shut the fuck out

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  104. 7 points back of the Leaf, hear footsteps

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  105. And thanks to everyone for channelling. That was a beauty win! The Habs NEEDED that win and they deserved it! TFS was stellar when he had to be, got lucky with some posts and deserves the shutout!

    Nothing beats a 3 am 5-0 win against the leaf! Fuck me I'm gonna sleep well tonight!

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    Replies
    1. Pleasant dreams, KmaXXX.

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  106. Eat it in a celebratory new thread.

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  107. You dont use Jimmy Buffet to sentimentalize PEI

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  108. Not Geoff Molson10:15 PM

    Fucking Awesome. I had passed out for a nap at the start of the game, only to start streaming it in the 3rd with the 5-0 lead.

    I'll have to head down to a restaurant on Front Street and ask for an extra large serving of schadenfreude!

    Leaf fans - delusional, myopic and stupid is no way to go through life...(to slightly alter the words of Dean Wormer in "Animal House")

    Leafs fans talking shit about the Habs (and other teams) -- hell they haven't even made the final since they won the cup 44 years ago. So COTU STFU!

    And let's review the number of cup wins since the Leafs last won it all:

    Montreal Canadiens 10
    Edmonton Oilers 5
    Detroit Red Wings 4
    New York Islanders 4
    Boston Bruins 3
    New Jersey Devils 3
    Pittsburgh Penguins 3
    Colorado Avalanche 2
    Philadelphia Flyers 2
    Anaheim Ducks 1
    Calgary Flames 1
    Carolina Hurricanes 1
    Chicago Blackhawks 1
    Dallas Stars 1
    New York Rangers 1
    Tampa Bay Lightning 1

    I put up with the Leafs growing up out west (back when CBC didn't do double headers)...but living here - I can't fucking stand them!

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