Apr 6, 2013

They ain't pretty, they're fucking ugly ~ Canadiens vs. broons Game Preview and Open Thread

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Inspired by the Northern Pikes.


We need two points, from PFKs powerplay hands 
And on this weekend Habs'll rock & roll marchand 

On Saturday night in Montreal's hometown barn 
In net is Carey, he looks like a movie TFStar 

Being in first place is turning FHFans on 
Pretzel lucic needs to visit a beauty salon

You read the comments inside here say 
broons ain't pretty and they just dive that way 

We make a date here to go for a drink 
29 wore his Pants! and Moey wore a mink

There was this misconception all over town 
That FHFemmes eat apple pie by the pound

RDS said "WatCH MTL at home, there won't be no fuss" 
hnic said "Sure but its the broons we'll discuss"

Watching their leaf I heard crotchescorner say 
"bobcold ain't pretty he just sounds that way"

So, uh, I blogrolled up, N31 was with Toaster at home 
Said "She's busy she can't stand clod julien's groan"

Won't hold my breath, Anon'll decide to bait 
A comment cut guy like me doesn't hesitate 

Mediots fell in love with bettman's model from hell 
It won't take too much time to see why Thornton 'fell'

Every crisfuckinglee game has a grave mistake 
timfuckingpeel ain't pretty he just refs that way 

jacobs fucking ego wrote cheques incredibly fast 
Bought him a tainted Cup, Collie's counting the cash

I fucking LOL'd on broons embellished play 

They ain't pretty they just dive that way 
They ain't pretty they just play that way 
They ain't pretty 
They're fucking ugly 
Jagr ain't pretty 
They ain't pretty when they whine all day
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Die broons Die!
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158 comments:

  1. Excellent cover Moeman, love that 27 Gif he looks like a keeper, where did he learn to skate like that?
    Die Broons. Go Habs Go Fucikig Go
    No holding on, assault the comcast empire with extreme predjuice.

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  2. who is winking at Carey?

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    Replies
    1. he looks like a action movie star in that pic

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  4. I have entered a period of Pouges and Smashing Pumpkins, but no matter where my musical muse goes it seems to orbit around the Celts. HIStory stuff, but Mozart and Betowven may have been musical genius the like of which have not been seen until Justin Bieber came along, but the humanity of the celtic beat just cant be beat. It combines all the earthly rythems with a storytelling range.

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    1. It was not until I heard the Chiefians sing Dylan, I realized he was a greenman, a Irish singer, a mensch jeweler of emerald island presious stones.

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    2. I wish I could spell precsious

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    3. insert very valuable, or maybe I am saying Bob Dylan has stones that could be used to back a flaky currency.

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  5. Now I want to speak about Hadrians wall. It was a mistake, and we repeat it every day.

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    1. trudat, and if you can do anything to make life better, stop that.

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    2. that statement might have cast my asperations in a bad light. I want to manage fantasy and herd unicorns and settle settlers on Mars and moons like Titan.

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    3. Hey believe me I am not holding out for any of that.

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  8. I have the Clash playing the Guns of Brixtion at least ninety clean DB. For your own safety do not knock on my door for the next three minites.

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  9. Simply brilliant! All of it. Think of me while you're all enjoying the game tonight. *sob*. Gotta depend on the PVR. Hope there's no power failures.

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  10. the Maritimer3:12 PM

    Steve is a keyboard addict. There is no other explanation.

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  11. Awesome work moe! An old school rivalry deserves an old school parody.

    DIE BROONS DIE

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  12. Headed off to Hurleys for some pre-game beveraging with...

    wait for it...

    [drum roll...]

    HF10! He's in town from Laffland to bring his dad to the Bs game for his 75th bday. Habs better win, 10 paid a lot of $ for the tix

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  13. Give 10 our best and you are goddam right they better win. Great parody. Moeman.
    Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!

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    Replies
    1. Yes hello to 10 and the Hurley's staff. Make it home safe 29.

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  14. Good. To see Stevens on a roll already!

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    Replies
    1. Stevens? Bloody auto correct! Should have read Steve

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    2. Maybe there is, moar than one.

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    3. I have always feared I had a dobble ganger

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  15. Never thought I'd be repulsed by puppies...

    Anyways, here's to a great game! Bring it, Bs! GYFHG!!!

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    1. iRiRi, I think those pups are somewhat CGI'd but they do reflect the broon ugliness.

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  16. pjstuck says 'around here, toronto, we don't use the 'C' word'. Well, around here, we do, 'C'ockroach.

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    1. There is a choice "C" word we should all be uisng to describe bjcock but my respect for the 4HF femmes does not permit me to type it

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    2. Not Geoff Molson10:11 PM

      Something about us telling Mr. PJ Suck, "See You Next Tuesday?"

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  17. 10 says hi to everyone. and we pounded down those beers so I'm good to go! SO many Bs fans at Hurleys. But they were early in their drunk, so they were friendly

    DIE BROONS DIE

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  18. CBC poll question: Is PFK a Norris candidate?

    HE ONLY FUCKING LEADS ALL NHL DMEN IN POINTS YOU FUCKS.

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  19. Wow, pjstuck buys into PFK being an embellisher. Fucking asshole.

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  20. PleXXXe is in bitCHes.

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  21. heh, mclame leads fried man into yipping about his leaf and fried man says, um, I'm talking Montreal.

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  22. For our juce; Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!, Go Habs Go!

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    Replies
    1. For the Bs, juce would use caps GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO!

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  23. the Maritimer7:12 PM

    I watched the whole pre-game segment and I'd swear I was watching a Boston broadcast crew. Lots of Bruins love including a Bobby Orr heroes clip. The cbc hates the Habs. I hope they are forced to show them lots this spring so they can choke on their own vitriol.

    Fuck off pjsuck you fucking asshole.

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  24. cbc thinks Ottawa-Gatineau is central-southern Ontario. They really hate Sens and Habs fans.

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  25. Thornton warming up his legs for his typical dive.

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  26. timfuckinpeel are you fucking kidding me?????

    puck drop!!!!

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  27. PleXXXe looks fine

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    1. I doubt he'd miss a broon game.

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  28. Another PFK Point!

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  29. PFK with another point. and CBC thinks he's still MAYBE a Norris candidate

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  30. the Maritimer7:27 PM

    gCHuck !

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  31. Commented on the wrong thread. Let's try this again.

    YEAH!

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    1. What time did you kidz start drinking? (O-man, you have an excuse).

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  32. RDS here, who is doing the cockroach game? cold?

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    1. RDS moi aussi, but I CHecked of course it's Cold

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  33. Love this LEGO+CHarger+gCHuk line.

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  34. the Maritimer7:35 PM

    Bob cold thinks the cbc dahlings from bahstan are winning.

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  35. Dr 29 is here! Sprained knee. Out 10-14 days

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    Replies
    1. Graduate of the U of Recchi online school. Flash player required.

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    2. Heh. Thus not functional on Apple devices

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    3. Thank Steve (Jobs). Imagine how really fast your iDevice battery would drain.

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  36. "Did that come out?"

    Yes, Bob, by about 3 feet. Are you wearing your glasses? You know, your black and yellow glasses.

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    1. He forgot to take his meds

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    2. bob, Flintstone vitamins are for kids.

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  37. The "best of the East" has 1 SOG. Spin that wheel...

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    1. fried man calls them the 'class' of the East.

      class |klas| noun
      1 a set or category of things having some property or attribute in common and differentiated from others by kind, type, or quality:
      2 the system of ordering a society in which people are divided into sets based on perceived social or economic status:
      3 a group of students who are taught together.
      verb (often be classed as)
      assign or regard as belonging to a particular category:
      adjective
      showing stylish excellence:

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    2. the Maritimer7:46 PM

      Wouldn't matter if they lost ten in a row, they'd still be the best.

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    3. We're just lucky to be able to hang on against 'em, right?

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  38. Shouldn't MT2.0 be, you know, coaCHing during the break not talking to RDS?

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  39. Fuck this between whistle interviews. Focus on the fucking game.

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  40. #9 Wichita State up 11 points on #1 Louisville in the second half, for you hoops fans (so, me)

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  41. OK, kidz, 29 and I are not, I repeat, not the same person. (although I would love to meet Kristen sans mitts).

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    1. It was reported in the New England Journal of Medicine that after blogging together for 2+ years, people begin to think the same

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    2. Cool. Do they have an article explaining our Steve or is it just the weed?

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    3. A team of specialists have been looking into steve for a year now, but their prognosis is inconclusive

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    4. They are afraid to recommend meds.

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    5. I am not man I am DEVO

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  42. Fuck you Lucic and your cross check to the head of a player on the ice

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  43. Oh man is that gonna piss off the pissahs at NESN.

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    1. the Maritimer8:01 PM

      Guaranteed that's what julien was yapping about crossing the rink.

      Kevin Week's said that's what Boston had to do to the Habs....lean on them. So when pretzel leans on plexxx who he outweighs by 50 lbs plexxx goes down but that's diving right?

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  44. Two more periods like that and eelliittttoottee fried man may yet reconsider his class status.

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    1. We could knock them out of the playoffs and he'd still be singing their praises. There's no winning with these people...

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  45. Good to know that the broons will get a penalty for every 2 infractions (on the same player within 5 seconds of each other, or it resets). Luckily, the shaved apes are stupid enough to do this.

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  46. Oh, for the first time this year I get to see Coach's Corner. Yay? I'll get the whiskey and baseball bat to knock myself out.

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  47. Oh my lord, replaying the make out session from last week.

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  48. Ok - this might be scary - first time all year I am watching an english cbc feesd - so here comes fuckin don cherry - I might get ill - ...typical - he's talking about the jays - fuck off you cock! Now its Kadri blowing time

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    1. heh, you'd think a true, knowledgeable hockey person, with some admittedly pathetic history, would be talking Habs and broons rivalry, standings, potential playoffs, etc.

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    2. To his credit (shudder) Cherry did eventually bring up Price. In a positive light and everything!

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  49. the Maritimer8:12 PM

    I wonder how poor old Squid is doing out west with the loser mentality in Calgary these days?

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  50. I think BB just called the broons 'crooked', he used the word 'crosse' which might also mean they are obsessed masturbators and/or closet transvestites. I may have embellished. Call 1-800-FU2-CLOD to complain.

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  51. PFK!

    HANG ON BOYS!

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  52. Make that CCR! Another PFK! Point!

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  53. the Maritimer8:15 PM

    Wheeeeeeeeee!!

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  54. A Habs PP goal vs. da broons, this will freak the NESN crowdah heads.

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  55. TFS™ is TSN'n.

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  56. Talking boot a team of destiny

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    Replies
    1. thinking aboot as well

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  57. Just for the fun of it (and of course with a nice padded lead) the Habs should some day refuse a power play, only to have MT2.0 in his game-winning presser mention he did it to shut up the NESNer crowd of dumbfucks.

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  58. the Maritimer8:25 PM

    Punch that little ratface fucker in the face Blanche.

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    1. The M., that "little rat face fucker" is some Mom's little rat face fucker (see header pic above).

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  59. Wonder if the Access to Information Act allows me to see how much hnic spent to send their top 'production HQ crew' to NJ vs. a drive down HWY 401 E (including all the strippers you can ogle).

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  60. My goodness, Cole is screaming at every broon shot.

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  61. OH GOD NO NOT THE OLE CHANT

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  62. the Maritimer8:54 PM

    Whew!

    Survived the second period. HANG ON BOYS!!!!

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  63. a inexplicable lack of intenstiy on both sides

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  64. Kudos to CBC, the feed is more than golden its platinum

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  65. What a surprise, CBC is STILL talking about Luongo/Kipper to Toronto.

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  66. Hey Steve, you watching CBC.ca or elsewhere? I had a great feed but it's crapping out now.

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  67. was watching a great hoops game but it's over and Im back.

    HANG ON BOYS

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  68. tthe Maritimer9:19 PM

    Nothin' doin' ape.

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  69. Feels like a sustained broon PP.

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  70. the maritimer9:23 PM

    HANG ON BOYS!!!!

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  71. SERIOUSLY HANG ON BOYS

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  72. the Maritimer9:42 PM

    LEGO and BlanCHe have played strong games tonight.

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  73. OH GOD NOT THE OLE CHANT AGAIN. DO THESE PEOPLE NOT LEARN?

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  74. noooooooooooooooooooooooooo has anyone shown lego the standings?!

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  75. Was going to call earlier a penalty to Habs in last minute to make up from last game.

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  76. the Maritimer9:47 PM

    Fuck.

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  77. I didn't actually see it, as I've been forced to change to the radio. Still, very predictable.

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  78. FUCK YEAHHHHHHHH BITCHESSSS

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  79. great win boys
    and Jagr makes CHeese look dynamic

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  80. Eat shit elliotte you mediotte!

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  81. YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

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  82. the Maritimer9:49 PM

    Woooooooooooooooo!!!

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  83. 3. CCR!

    2. TFS™!!

    1. gCHuk!!!

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  84. So, Habs win last 3 matchups, up 3 points and games in hand are irrelevant. broons should be #1, 6 spots ahead of our boys in TSN's ranking next week.

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  85. the Maritimer9:53 PM

    Boston still the class of the east, right?

    Right Elliott?

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    1. fried man can fuck off and go contemplate his dirty thirty thoughts. His claim to fame is being propped up by the other mediots. Get a triple-chin strap already.

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  86. Big game against 2 of the best teams in the Conference playing for 1st in their division. TSN leads with meaningless leaf game. Of course.

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  87. the Maritimer10:04 PM

    Well I'm going to sleep well tonight.

    Congratulations to the broons, still number 1......in cbc's hearts and minds.

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  88. BOORUINS. Dumped the Queen's tea in their sea of salty tears, or some such rot.

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  89. Boston - Up yours Cunty. Habs are the best. You yellow and black motherfuckers suck cock and die. We HABS will always and forever kick your shaved gorilla ass.
    BYE.

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  90. We've said it a million times, the mediots are biased against our Habs. It seems like beating a dead horse, but everyday they come up with new ways to show their disdain for our Montreal Canadiens. Let's look at the descriptions on their site for each team's post game reaction:

    "The Habs talk about the importance of the win in their chase for the division crown."

    The Habs are in first, they're not chasing anyone for the division crown.

    "Milan Lucic talks about his collision with Alexei Emelin and the Bruins discuss their unlucky night."

    I see, when the broons lose they're 'unlucky', but when they will it's because they're the best team in the world. By the way, what was so 'unlucky'?

    Again, nothing new here, just annoying. Too frequent and careful not to be anything but intentional.

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