[/hums classic HNIC theme]
Holy fuck what was the CBC thinking not keeping the rights to that tune. Thank the fuck I am out of that shithole on Front Street. In case you missed it, on Monday I was named HNIC grand poobah in place of the Leafsucker McClame and ditched the CEEB at the same time. Once I get the whole HNIC shit and shebang back to the 514 where it belongs, we'll really be cooking with gas.
[/leans forward in oversized chair] Oh, hey hai wassup dudes? Good ol' Gee Strombo here sitting in for those crazy kids moe and 29. In light of the big news this week, I thought I needed to dive into some hockey coverage to get up to snuff. Ummm, been like, what, 40 years since Fan 590 and I did any sports? So I called up the guys and told them fuck it, let me start at 4HF. It'll give me a CHance to talk hockey and the Habs, while getting all my nasty fucking Greek habits out of the way before I hit the big stage and call Daren Millard a cocksucker on air and get fired. They bought it and here I am.
Now, you may wonder whether I can actually host HNIC, or even this Bs preview and open thread. Fuck man, I had the hardest job in Canadian broadcasting - MuchMusic VJ. That shit will eat you alive. Where is Erica Ehm now, eh? Exactly. [/leans back in oversized chair] Though that bitch was totally hot in the sack. [/leans forward again, interlocks fingers] I remember one night when me, her, Teresa Roncon and a very young Hannah Simone were at a MM party down on Queen Street and the four of us were playing "Director and Control Room". Well I was playing the director of course, and I directed Erica and Hannah to get into this thing, where uh, hmmm, The details are kind of fuzzy. When you host The Punk Show, you gotta get, ummm, kinda punk, you know?
So, uhhhh, where was I? [/leans over left arm of oversized chair, crosses legs] Right, hockey. You'd think this shit would be easy. I once interviewed Insane Clown Posse, so I should be able to handle anything. Insane Clown Posse - sounds like the CBC HNIC crew! hahahahahaha [/bites tongue to stop laughing]. Fucking CBC and their dick Habs attitude. Habs rule. Let's revisit some choice quotes on the subject I once gave.
In the actual Air Canada Centre, the energy and the volume aren’t the same as at the Bell Centre because that’s just not Toronto’s personality.You know, if Toronto had a personality.
In the playoffs, I have a Canadiens flag hanging in my living room – only on game days – I usually have a jersey and a Canadiens tuque on and I sit there, ready.I used to keep the flag up on non-game days too, but Mansbridge and Mesley (also dynamite in the sack btw) would come to my place and rip it down. Not. Fucking. Cool.
In my house, I don’t watch Hockey Night in Canada with anybody.I can barely watch that leaf-sucking crap with anyone. [/fiddles with earring]
So here's all you need to know about tonight's game, thanks to another quote:
I try not to fight Don Cherry about hockey though, we’ll usually just stick to talking history. He’s a Bruin, so it’s kind of rocky – we can only be friends-ish[/leans forward, adjusts various wrist accoutrements] Go You Fucking Habs Go.