Mar 12, 2014

Strombeau presents the Bs preview and open thread


[/hums classic HNIC theme]

Holy fuck what was the CBC thinking not keeping the rights to that tune. Thank the fuck I am out of that shithole on Front Street. In case you missed it, on Monday I was named HNIC grand poobah in place of the Leafsucker McClame and ditched the CEEB at the same time. Once I get the whole HNIC shit and shebang back to the 514 where it belongs, we'll really be cooking with gas.

[/leans forward in oversized chair] Oh, hey hai wassup dudes? Good ol' Gee Strombo here sitting in for those crazy kids moe and 29. In light of the big news this week, I thought I needed to dive into some hockey coverage to get up to snuff. Ummm, been like, what, 40 years since Fan 590 and I did any sports? So I called up the guys and told them fuck it, let me start at 4HF. It'll give me a CHance to talk hockey and the Habs, while getting all my nasty fucking Greek habits out of the way before I hit the big stage and call Daren Millard a cocksucker on air and get fired. They bought it and here I am.

Now, you may wonder whether I can actually host HNIC, or even this Bs preview and open thread. Fuck man, I had the hardest job in Canadian broadcasting - MuchMusic VJ. That shit will eat you alive. Where is Erica Ehm now, eh? Exactly. [/leans back in oversized chair] Though that bitch was totally hot in the sack. [/leans forward again, interlocks fingers] I remember one night when me, her, Teresa Roncon and a very young Hannah Simone were at a MM party down on Queen Street and the four of us were playing "Director and Control Room". Well I was playing the director of course, and I directed Erica and Hannah to get into this thing, where uh, hmmm, The details are kind of fuzzy. When you host The Punk Show, you gotta get, ummm, kinda punk, you know?

So, uhhhh, where was I?  [/leans over left arm of oversized chair, crosses legs] Right, hockey. You'd think this shit would be easy. I once interviewed Insane Clown Posse, so I should be able to handle anything. Insane Clown Posse - sounds like the CBC HNIC crew! hahahahahaha [/bites tongue to stop laughing]. Fucking CBC and their dick Habs attitude. Habs rule. Let's revisit some choice quotes on the subject I once gave.
In the actual Air Canada Centre, the energy and the volume aren’t the same as at the Bell Centre because that’s just not Toronto’s personality.
You know, if Toronto had a personality.
In the playoffs, I have a Canadiens flag hanging in my living room – only on game days – I usually have a jersey and a Canadiens tuque on and I sit there, ready.
I used to keep the flag up on non-game days too, but Mansbridge and Mesley (also dynamite in the sack btw) would come to my place and rip it down. Not. Fucking. Cool.
In my house, I don’t watch Hockey Night in Canada with anybody.
I can barely watch that leaf-sucking crap with anyone. [/fiddles with earring]

So here's all you need to know about tonight's game, thanks to another quote:
I try not to fight Don Cherry about hockey though, we’ll usually just stick to talking history. He’s a Bruin, so it’s kind of rocky – we can only be friends-ish
[/leans forward, adjusts various wrist accoutrements] Go You Fucking Habs Go.
~~~






 

130 comments:

  1. the Maritimer6:47 AM

    That was fucking awesome man! Can't wait for Strombo to take over, boink Andi Petrillo and punch bjsuck in the face.

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  2. 29, that was inspired man! Unfuckingbelievably Stromboesque great!

    Side note: I've met two of my TV crushes in Erica (tranna Design Centre event) and Wendy (Sparks St.). Yowsa! Not sure if Mme. Ehm was also once married to Mansbridge (which sounds like a porn name).

    DIE BROONS DIE!

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    Replies
    1. Also, great sidebar selections!

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    2. Nice one Strombo! Great to have you on board. Are you bringing your red leather chairs to the HNIC set?

      Watched the Strombo introduction on SNET. Haha, fucking mclame had to show up and act like he was cool with this new change and getting the new Sunday show. What an ass. For leaf fans, this is just the beginning of a Greek tragedy.

      Diebroozdie!

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  3. Chester7:58 AM

    Die you fuck beaners.
    Go Habs.

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  4. That was bitCHin' moeman, er Strombo.

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    1. That was bitCHin, moeman, er 29. It's all good.

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  5. Let's hope VonT, with a practice finally under his belt continues his broon-slaying ways with his new broon-slaying Habs. GYMFHG!

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  6. I tuned into the comedy network last night and there was some kind of hockey sitcom on. Some guy called prince$$ while targeting a smaller opponent ended up planting his own teammate jvr.The team wearing blue and white only played on one end of the rink and pucks kept going in the net. It's filmed on location in the gta where critics proclaim it's a smash hit and is already the best show world-wide.

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  7. So Strombo 29. GO HABS GO this is the most important game of the season, a test we need two points and hopefully a chance to see VonT on TV. About VonT, there is another possibly to logical explain his invisibility on camera. Yes unlike Vampire Dan who is just pale, VonT is a real vampire. Little know fact, Marie Antoinette was a Austrian. I think this bodes well for the relationship between eMTy an VonT. He is putting him on the shutdown line to make him a 200 foot player. Its never to late.

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  8. Von T didn't look/sound too impressed with playing with Plex and Gionta on the shut down line. Very sarcastic. Good for him I say. There's a good fucking reason eMpTy couldn't win with Crosby and Malkin. He doesn't have a single fucking clue what to do with an offensive minded player (see Von T and gCHuk...and even Eller). If Burger Van doesn't can him in the next week or two, this team's in trouble and the playoffs are definitely not guaranteed. And forget Von T re-signing.

    And why the hell do the Habs need a francophone coach? There are what? one or two on the club. Hire the best coach, despite the language he speaks and get a friggin' translator for the pure wools. Look at all the Canadians that coach in the KHL, Swedish league and other European leagues! So long as a coach can communicate with his players who gives a fuck.

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    1. Yes he was sarcastic, wait for coachless to chew him out on 24CH for that. Though when he said the rivalry is something for the fans but in the room, for the players, it's just another game - I don't think that is true and I don't believe the Habs feel the same way. Too much has happened between these 2 teams for so many years how can they not view it as a rivalry?
      With Brian Mulroney pushing to bring back the diques to back to Quebec, I'd like to see that happen and they can have all the French coaches they want, while the Habs can chose from the best available.

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    2. Chester11:27 AM

      I agree. Bringing back the Nodicks would definitely calm the bigots down. That would allow us to get a coach based on coaching as opposed to the F language.
      As a side saw a great article in the Surburban addressed to Queen Pauline.
      Death to Beaners.
      Go Habs.

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    3. Let's address the "French Coach" issue here...the quick answer Paddy is NO The Habs don't need a French coach...if they are winning! Scotty Bowman was not a French coach. He was an English coach who spoke French - but it mattered very little because for the most part he won a shitload as coach. The French coach is to keep the French media pacified when they are losing. Randy Cunneyworth would have been deified in the French media if the Habs had won the Cup when he took over the team - but sadly they didn't and he isn't! They cut Bob Gainey some slack because he had form as captain and a cup winner. But in the end, he didn't win shit and was ultimately cruxified for being English. If Larry Robinson came to Montreal and led them to the Stanley Cup, no one would say anything except Merci Larry!

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    4. Bien dit KmaXXX.

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  9. Rask is 2-10-2 vs Habs - they're really in his head.

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  10. Outstanding 29 - an excellent sub selection once again Moeman - you guys never disappoint and I rarely laugh out loud when reading a blog in the office...Now then...Saint Paddy - you got it in one! the coach is fucking useless. If I'm not mistaken, after Patches the next highest scorer is Plexxe with 17 goals. So VonT has 21 which makes him a sniper in Habs land. Playing him with Gio and Plexxe is stupid and VonT is smart enough to recognise that. His sarcasm was fantastic. I would have preferred him to say something along the lines of : "That fucking dickwad coach is a fucking idiot don't cha think. I mean come on - why the fuck would he put me on a checking line when he doesn't have anyone who can put the puck in the net - what a fucking moron!..Oh well - I'll just collect my cash and fuck off out of here in Apriil when the playoffs start - this fucking team won't be in them that's for sure"

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  11. Well done sir! Fuck the Bruins

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  12. Well done sir! Fuck the Bruins

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    Replies
    1. You can say that again!

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  13. Chester1:25 PM

    No Weise, no Parros.
    We are playing the beaner fucks.
    I'm not understanding our coach.
    Tinordi doesn't need to match up with thorton or Lucy yet.
    Lets get him some confidence first shall we.
    WTF MT2.0 wake up.
    Go Habs

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    Replies
    1. Y'all know I'm not a huge fan of Parros, however Parros used properly was brought to the Habs precisely for games like this...shame the Habs don't have a coach who uses players properly...

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  14. Priceless Princess
    http://gfycat.com/AnxiousGlitteringKawala

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  15. I'm flummoxed with tsn's 'no laughing matter' heading on tonight's game. WTF?

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    Replies
    1. Clearly its a recognition of the fact eMTy is by all definitions insane.

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  16. Strombs just called to tell me to tell you fuckers thx for your kind words (quote). It gives him confidence going into next season

    Malheureusement yours truly has to head out for one of his many lawyer thingies. Hope to be home in time to watch the 3rd. I pray we're still in it

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    1. 29, if your see/hear from Strombeau again, make sure to tell him to be on guard for mclame asking him about his Habs fandom and to turn it right back on him and his cockroach pals.

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  17. Listening to Melnyk interviewing 'The Flower' who says he didn't like Milbury, he had a big mouth. lol

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  18. My advice, if we lose this game defintelty fire the coach. However if we win take the same action,

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  19. Donate $3100 and Mr and Mrs TFS are giving a signed Habs jersey, signed Team Canada jersey, signed hockey stick, dinner for 2 a mise aux jeux, a pair of tickets the the habs/sens game and a signed, numbered lithograph.

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    Replies
    1. Should have mentioned it's the annual telethon for the CHildren's foundation.

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  20. I did not coin it but I like the adjective stromboner, or it could be a verb or noun, maybe an adverb, surely not a preposition, and only George knows if it has dangling participles.

    Ex Strombo got a Stromboner the second PJ depends went live.

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  21. Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!

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  22. I am seriously unimpressed with nhl game centre! Apparently the uk is in a blackout area and so I cannot watch the game tonight. Must find me a stream elsewhere. Rds j'arrive!

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    Replies
    1. Someone tell KmaXXX what 'j'arrive' en Francais means!

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  23. Flower, beautiful kid at centre ice. Tugs at the heartstrings.

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  24. Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!

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  25. Crazy slow falling snowstorm may last 24 hours here. 30+cms expected. eesh

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  26. Nice surprise when I got home. Prof on sabbatical in NB sent an gift package of blue-crab cakes!!

    Nice with a CHardonnay.

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    1. the Maritimer7:54 PM

      Try Moosehead.

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  27. CASH IT!!!!!!!!!!!

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  28. I feel like I'm bipolar.

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  29. Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!

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  30. Rask made some good saves, I don't like it, might give him confidence.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe he'll give up a softie.

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  31. the Maritimer8:20 PM

    Good first period. Wish they could play that way against San Jose and the like.

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    1. Yep, wish somebody could level Lucy though.

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    2. I give Tinordi one full season and he twists pretzel lucic into a constrictor's knot.

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    3. the Maritimer8:32 PM

      Crankshaft.

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    4. God help him, (Y) keeps trying.

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    5. Refs seem to be letting the broons get away with things a bit, I hope they straighten up. Lucy hit (Y) way after he no longer had the puck for one and I didn't catCH what they let go whiCH got PatCHes pissed off and you see him give the ref a piece of his mind. Careful, they'll sit you for 'abuse of an official'.

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  32. Donated a few dollars to the telethon. 1-888-925-2133

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    Replies
    1. I did the texting thing.

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  33. Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!

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  34. the Maritimer8:35 PM

    Mrs. Price is a cutie and there's my old fave #12 the Roadrunner.

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  35. Lucy and (Y) really have a thing going tonight.

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  36. Crankshaft needs a lube job. Cripes that man is slow.

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  37. Third time's the CHarm, do it!!!!
    Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!

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  38. Need puck luck c'mon.

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  39. we need bigger nets for the guys in red to hit.

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    Replies
    1. That always amazes me.

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  40. Icing my ass, I could have walked fast than that broon did.

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  41. Such a team player is Prust. Landed a couple of nice under cuts.

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  42. the Maritimer8:56 PM

    The broons are on a mission. Not looking good for the boys tonight.

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    Replies
    1. Pretty even play. 2 mistakes = 2-0.

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  43. Habs need to play like they did in the first, the mistakes cost them but still time to turn it around.

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  44. Where's the juggler when you need him? I'd like to see him switch Briere and Vanek.

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    Replies
    1. doesn't want to admit he was wrong.

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  45. Fuckers, we might have to give them this one. But wait 'til we gat the best goalie in the world back and that Panic guy starts to score.

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    1. the Maritimer9:14 PM

      Who?

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    2. Panic, the guy they picked up at the deadline. Sheesh.

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  46. That hurts, the habs were doing really well too.

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  47. Well, that's all she wrote. Goals for the Habs are clearly not on the books for tonight. Lots of action around the net but no luck.

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  48. the Maritimer9:13 PM

    Game. Set. Match.

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  49. at least we are no losing due to lack of effort

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  50. There's still 20 mins to score 3, they can do it.
    ooooooooohm!

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  51. denis gauthier please go to the séparatiste station tva.

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  52. the Maritimer9:21 PM

    eMTy is a fucking genius. Good hire Mr. Molson.

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  53. Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!
    Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!
    Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!

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  54. It's all good, Beaners will get a false sense of superiority. Bodes well for the playoffs, right?

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  55. Wooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  56. Cue the comeback.

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  57. I change over to check the nucks game for 2 minutes and BAM! they get one. Perhaps I ought to do that again. Will do at the 15 minute mark...

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  58. I'm OK with VonT playing with DDD and Patches. Can we have the EGG line back? Get crackin'!

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  59. 2-1 Jets. No matter what happens with the Habs, just remember it could always be worse - could be Canuck fans.

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  60. Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go! Go Habs Go!!!

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  61. I hate it when Booty leaves his net.

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  62. Early mistakes costs them and then the 3rd and 4th goals buried them.

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  63. Thanks moeman, HF29. Good night all.

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  64. Just caught the game on delay. I think I learned everything about the "powerhouse" bruin team from the last 20 years on TSN during the show.

    The broon fans are eating this up. Funny how the media and idiot fans completely forget everything when they beat the Habs. The other two Hab wins were because the bruins played badly. The bruin win tonight proves the Habs can't handle them, and that's why historically the Habs have been "owned" by the bruins in the playoffs forever. O....k....

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  65. No reason if TFS is playing we could not have won last night. Good to see eMTy finally figured out putting VonT on shutdown line was not prudent. I am still optimistic we can do some damage this year.

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  66. Replies
    1. It depends upon which media you get your information from.

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    2. BTW 29 its NSFW but this is all you need to know about True Detective.

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    3. the Maritimer10:19 AM

      HBO figured out long ago if you want to draw in the 18-49 male demographic audience, show lots of boobs. Hey, it appeals to the over 50 crowd too. ;-)

      Delete
  67. disclaimer. i'm no longer using capital letters due to my stupid keyboard's lame undersized shift key. i've erased more text by accident than i care to admit. i don't even know how. but this seems to work better.
    anyway, a bolts win puts the habs back in the first wildcard postion, which would face them off against the broon in the first round. imho this is a better matchup than the wretched leaf. i think they can beat either team if TFS (one careful exception) is healthy, but i couldn't imagine losing to the leaf in the first round...too many leaf 'fans's around these parts that my force me to kill myself with their gloating.

    that said, the rest of the month looks like a pretty easy schedule in theory. should take 6 of 9. i'd much prefer 7 of 9 ;-)

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  68. the Maritimer10:28 AM

    No shame in losing that game with your back-up goalie playing. The beaners are the stronger team anyway.

    Don't know if anyone cares, but prospect Zach Fucale is having another outstanding season for the Halifax Mooseheads. 35 wins and counting. The Herd also have a draft eligible kid named Nikolaj Ehlers who is tearing it up lately, the Habs probably won't finish low enough to draft this Danish kid and it's just as well. eMTy does not like Danish hockey players anyway.

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    Replies
    1. eMTY says we do not need no stinking Vikings.

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  69. the Maritimer11:28 AM

    Wow, just finished reading Don MacPherson's article on Peladeau and Marois' plan for an independent Quebec. As near as I can figure you guys would be living in a totalitarian state. Yet, Mme. Marois wishes to continue to use Canadian currency and have a seat at the Bank of Canada. Nothing like having your cake and eating it too.

    If you anglos (and disgruntled francophones) feel the need to flee this nonsense, may I suggest you look east instead of Ontario and west. New Brunswick and the other maritime provinces would welcome you with open arms. NB is a true bilingual province with a "welcoming" Acadien population, unlike Marois and her ilk.

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    Replies
    1. I actually posted a rant about that yesterday and then decided to calm down before doing so. I haven't yet.

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    2. makes you wonder why Dear Leader has been subsidizing and advocating for a certain media company, and has not stopped yet. Yes lets buy Karl a hockey team, customer service excellence.

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  70. Strombo is coming up on TSN1690 in about 4 mins.

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  71. Who shot JVR? Was it the princess?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Yyplp6jbZRY

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  72. Hi folks. Some very, very good news to share regarding Tim Bozon….

    Jennifer Graham ‏@JGrahamCP ·43m
    #Canadiens prospect and #WHL Kootenay Ice player Tim Bozon’s remains in ICU. Condition remains critical but stable and improving.

    Further, it appears that doctor’s are in the process of waking him up from the medically induced coma. I am not a doctor, but this is the first positive piece of information in the past week.

    Continue to send your positive vibes friends. We might not agree on all things Canadiens, but we can certainly get behind this young man.

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  73. Lead off content on tsn because it is a 'national' network :

    1. big12 basketball - wiggins, because it is tranna
    2. leaf vs. L.A. - bernier, because it is tranna
    3. spring training - jays, because it is tranna
    4. NBA playoff stretch run - raptors, because it is tranna

    I dare you to find a common thread.

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    Replies
    1. they're all over tfc too. there was a 30 minute special on about some english dude (i assume) signing with the team. they just can't stop.

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  74. The leaf can't even hit an empty net all alone in the zone. Another 40+ shots against...yet a win. Fuck. We're going to be hearing about this for at least a week. Have you ever seen such a bad .500+ teams? I'm not saying this because I hate the leaf, just the numbers. If you just looked at the stats you'd think they're Buffalo (who actually has better stats in many cases). The good news is we'll see their world crash down again in the playoffs (they'll make it because the East sucks so bad this year).

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  75. I watched the game Bernier didn't play after the 1st (lower body injury) and I think it is disgusting that they didn't follow protocol and send Reimer to the quiet room especially given his concussion history after a collision with Stoll. They treat this kid like shit. Of course, during the intermission they showed the time he was 'hit' by Gionta. (cockroach dredger,'that's harsh').

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  76. Seriously this guy's a total idiot.
    "I was sitting beside Bernier when that happened," said Nazem Kadri, who had two assists. "I told him to take off his pads. I might have to throw them on."

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