|Look, they come in delicious cake form! What's not to love?|
Oooh boy, that Bs series was fun, eh? So much hate. Can you imagine if the Phucktards or Cindy came out of whatever the hell they call that division now? More hate! But, um, we've got the Rangers. The best I could do would be ambivalence. But I can't even muster that. These Rangers are great! They came back from 3-1 down and beat the Pens! Friggin' awesome! They play a good clean brand of hockey. Great goaltending. Solid D. Some skilled forwards. Boy this is sounding familiar. Maybe if we dig through the lineup we can find some hate...
Solid Forward who was always iffy but is making the best of his chances - Benoit Pouliot! Good 'ol CHicken. Do you remember the Giant Mexican CHicken? Good times! I always liked that guy. Well, when he showed up. Hmmm.
Skilled forward - Martin St. Louis! Bon p'tit gars de Laval. Who has ever said a bad word about him except for Stevie Y? What's that? Dealing with personal tragedy now turning the Rangers into a feelgood story? Oy. /sniff. Our deepest sympathies Marty. Let's move on.
Gritty forward - Dominic Moore! I'll always remember the cup of coffee he had with the Habs. I seem to recall he had a decent playoff run once. We all loved him. Don't deny it. What? He lost his wife to a rare liver cancer just last year? /starts bawling.
Young stud star defenseman - Ryan McDonagh! I wonder who drafted him. Huh? Maybe we got a superstar goal-scoring machine in return in that trade? Who? Oh goodness. Well that leaves some lingering bitterness I guess. But I'm happy to see Ryan has found success. Wait, what?
Goalie - well he's Swedish, so Don Cherry must hate him. Uhhh. Maybe he's a horribly ugly scars all over his face evil looking goalie type? Hellooooooo. NTTAWWT.
Holy Fuck. This is not working. Maybe the Rangers are talking some trash about the Habs and Montreal and we can grasp onto that for hating purposes:
"I look forward to going there. It's a conference final in Montreal. That's special." - Lundqvist
"I'm not gonna lie, it's the best place to play. I can't imagine any sporting event this amazing. ... It's gonna be so fun" - Richards
"We respect Montreal quite a bit. They're not only a very strong team, but they're a team that has beaten the No. 1 team in the NHL right now. So we know we have our hands full." - Vigneault
Well I give up. I look forward to a delightful series.