Jan 6, 2015

TeaCH your CHildren well ~ First place Habs vs. Bolts Game Preview and Open Thread

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174 comments:

  1. Its impossible to beat a Bishop without a great Knight. Assume we are black and they are white. PFK must penatrate Bishop with his shot, and I hope with hurting any futuure children.

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    Replies
    1. He was pulled the other night after allowing 3 goals in 10 shots.

      Delete
  2. the Maritimer11:33 AM

    MB has bargaining chips galore.

    Price = WJC gold, AHL Calder Cup, Olympic gold.
    Toker = Midget AAA Telus Cup, WJC gold, Memorial Cup[, AHL Calder Cup.
    Fucale = Memorial Cup, WJC gold.

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  3. FUN AND COOL MEDIA WHORING ANNOUNCEMENT

    on CBC Radio tomorrow morning JT will interview 29. About copyright. It's going to kill us to not talk hockey.

    6:50 AM (Eastern) if anyone's awake, I think this link might work - http://www.cbc.ca/liveradio/popup/index.html?networkKey=cbc_radio_one&programKey=grand_falls_gander

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    1. 29 puts the, erm, 'who' in whoring. Should be fun.

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    2. Please can some add the link post whore - i wont be able to listen at work...

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    3. 29;s link works, it'll be an audio feed.

      Delete
    4. Copyright is the right to copy, No?

      Delete
  4. GYMFHG make the mediots eat shit.

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  5. Go Habs Go!! The Pens game should have shown the boys that they are a force to be reckoned with. This game could put a big MF stamp on that message for the rest of the league. Just fucking win boys!!

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  6. Win 6 in a row, stagnate in the rankings. Weird fucks.

    http://www.tsn.ca/nhl-power-rankings-january-6-2014-1.175357

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    Replies
    1. the Maritimer2:25 PM

      Those dumb fucks wouldn't know what a good hockey team looks like, all they see are blue and white turds. They'll never acknowledge Montreal as a top team. Never. Even if they won the Cup this year the mediots would still say Chicago or Anaheim are better and the only reason for a Montreal win would be "luck" or Price. Book it.

      Delete
    2. I saw that, made me wretch. ESPN did much better: http://espn.go.com/nhl/powerrankings

      Delete
    3. LeBrun's shot at #22 is fun. Thx 29.

      Delete
  7. Way off topic but too fucking funny.

    TORStar's Dave Feschuk's question makes fatfil flip (and not a burger).

    http://www.tsn.ca/video/kessel-on-carlyle-s-firing-you-think-it-s-my-fault-1.176130

    Guess he hates being tracked.

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  8. Congrats to RJ and Pedro for HoF inductions. Sadly Tim Raines is slipping out of contention.

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    Replies
    1. the Maritimer2:28 PM

      Always liked Pedro. Broke my heart when they traded him to the Red Sox. Fucking Loria and Selig.

      Delete
  9. http://flicksurfer.com/#/

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  10. Its days like today that I truly enjoy. Here's why;

    1. Congratulations to our Jr. Team Canada for an excellent tourney and gold medal.
    2. Habs play today, to maintain first place, at home.
    3. The leaf keeps finding ways to collapse. I'm 53 and have loved the last 47 years.
    4. Mediots are falling all over themselves to explain what ails their team. Rewind. Play.

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    1. Here's another one. http://www.tsn.ca/bruins-ceo-jacobs-team-in-constant-state-of-evaluation-1.176219

      "Jacobs, who is taking over for his father Jeremy, said the team was in a "constant state of evaluation" and refused to guarantee the future of any organization member, including head coach Claude Julien."

      Does schadenfreude make me a bad person? I hope I didn't jinx anything - please forgive me.


      ..... - for us to be a team that's out of the playoffs is absolutely unacceptable.

      Delete
  11. No coach is going to change facts on the bench for the leaf. They have enough bad contracts to make Donald Trump kill the squirl he gets his hair from. For the next 3 years at least they are stuck in hockey stuck groundhog day. Whats even better is both the Phuctards and the Broon are working from the same script. Thank you Tyler Sequin for fucking up both the Broon and the Leaf with you full sleves.

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  12. Best TSN Leafs Sportscentre schadenfreude ever!!

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  13. More TSN schadenfreude with the hockey panel. I'm giddy. Ripping everyone. fun

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  14. and here comes some That's Hockey schadenfreude!

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  15. Here's something from the beginning of the season:

    "Spott said Carlyle's attitude was that we're fired before (Kessel is) out of here, the hierarchy doesn't want to deal with Phil," one of the attendees told The Star. "He scores 30 (goals) a year and that's all they want. (Spott said) Phil hates coaches. He hates Randy. He hates me and I don't even know him yet." I'm sure the feeling is mutual, get over yourself, doughnut boy.

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    Replies
    1. they are going to remake the Untouchables in TO. as a hockey movie called the Uncoachables.

      Delete
  16. *Opens TSN page this morning*
    *Places finger tips together in pyramid-like fashion*
    *Exclaims "So it begins!"*
    *Cackles manically in increasing volume*

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  17. GYFHG! on a 8 game win streak, one more and its a new historic high. Imagine what they could do with a real coach:)?

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  18. Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!

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  19. They keep saying on TSN this game is a "showdown for the Atlantic division". Like they can't even admit the Habs are playing for the East AND the NHL. Fuck em all

    statement game. again. do it again. GYFHG

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    Replies
    1. Sorry Anaheim still too far ahead in the league. doesn't change my annoyance with TSN

      Delete
  20. CHili, red wine and a piece of jelly roll.

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  21. Veggie burritos! And Moosehead, but it's finally running low

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  22. Carey, Carey...

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  23. are there months when TFS doesn't win the Molson cup?

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    Replies
    1. I believe Gilbert is leading for January at the moment. I'm not kidding.

      Delete
  24. Now TSN is leading with "COULD BABCOCK BECOME LEAF COACH?!!!!!1!"

    No, morons, he's the coach of another team. Also, why on Earth would you think he'd want to go to the cesspool that is toronto? Oh, right, everyone wants to go there. That's why no one does. Morons.

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  25. Crap just an mm and it was a goal.

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  26. woof. thank you TFS

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  27. Please don't nail Cakes to the bench, please.

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  28. Hawaiian Pizza and milk

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  29. PFK told the ref Tampa player was holding his stick first.

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  30. That shld be icing on Tampa Bishop sent the puck the length of the ice behind TFS

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  31. Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!

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  32. CASH ONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

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  33. Cash it, Cash it, Cash it,

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  34. same crappy PP. do something MT2 FFS

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  35. 16-0 when scoring first. Ahem.

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  36. CHIp or SuperPleXXXe!!

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  37. Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!

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  38. Too bad that wasn't peel or lee

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  39. ref 2 for elbowing

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  40. Front row seat for this; http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/game-thrones-screen-imax-theaters-761282

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  41. Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!

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  42. STFU Stammer, defender tripped CHip.

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  43. oh pk that was stupid

    crap

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  44. Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!

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  45. Over the glass, N8 to the box.

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  46. fuck fuck fuck

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  47. Ok boys, come out flying in the 3rd, you can do it.
    GYMFHG!!!

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  48. Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!
    Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!

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  49. PatCHes!!!

    ... Just as I was thinking I would not want to meet TB in the playoffs this year...

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  50. 3rd total bullshit call ton nite

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  51. Non-call on strallman

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  52. Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!

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  53. Just caught up. Let's start calling these "Jacobs Nights". You know, the nights where the refs won't allow the Habs to win. Because we all know who controls the refs, and they're still butthurt from losing in the playoffs last year.

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    Replies
    1. ....and wallowing in misery this year.

      Delete
  54. Another non-call

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  55. Seriously, Botls could set TFS on fire and not get called.

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  56. gCHuck has not looked good tonight.

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  57. Ya can't win 'em all. 35-16 SOG. Yeah, some missed calls, but both ways. Just no finish to their game tonight. Lots of promising looking rushes that just end without a shot on net. Get ready for the Pens again. Hoping this is a jinx and they come back and tie it...

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  58. the ref away from the play calls it, the one bettman right there does nada
    CASH IT

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  59. Wow, so the ref does have some self-respect. 1 TB penalty for every 5 offences.

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  60. Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!! Go Habs Go!!!!!!!!!

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  61. OH FUCK OFF They were holding DDD's stick FFS

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  62. Yeah put DD in the box for have HIS stick held

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  63. They played well in the first period, maybe they should go back to coming out flat.

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  64. This will give great relief to the CoTU.

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  65. Hockey Gods have punished me for my schadenfreude. I'm sorry.

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  66. The tide turned when PFK took that penalty from the bench and Johnson scored.

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  67. Like I said, there was no way the refs were going to let the Habs win tonight. It's like watching the WWE.

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    Replies
    1. Come the playoffs hitting Montreal Players with folding chairs will be allowed.

      Delete
  68. But did anyone else notice that DDD was on for the entire last 3 minutes, until he got a penalty. I don't hate the guy, but enough already.

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  69. Losing TFS vs Rangers last year was an excuse, when they swept Tampa they didn't have Bishop - according to pj stuck.
    Everytime someone says that I ask if they base that on Bishop's stellar playoffs record - you know, the ones he's never played.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Except the Habs were able to still win 2 games against the dirty Rags. Also, Bishop isn't nearly as good as people think.

      Delete
  70. The DuPage County Coroner's office says the death of Chicago Blackhawks assistant equipment manager Clint Reif was a suicide.

    Reif was found unresponsive in his home on Dec. 21. The cause and manner of his death was determined through toxicology tests, the coroner's office said in a statement Tuesday.

    http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20150106/news/150109303

    ReplyDelete
  71. TOI (forwards)

    Patches 21:35
    PleXXXe 20:25
    KidG 18:54

    DDD 18:25

    gCHuck 17:01
    Lego 16:51
    Weiss 15:09
    cakeS 11:44
    Ghetto 9:38
    Prust 8:52
    M&M 7:44
    Carnivale 7:16

    That's right folks, cakeS got 7 minutes less than DDD. Hell, Weiss got 4 more minutes than him. Have we also accepted that DDD wasn't taken off the 1st line, MT just made another 1st line?

    DDD also led the forwards at 3:19 for PP time, about a minute more than KidG and gCHuck. cakeS had 0:15 on the PP (the same as Prust).

    I think DDD has a role on this team, and I think he's proven that he can excel in that role. But MT refuses to use him in that role. MB needs to hold an intervention. Bring in some addiction experts. It's getting out of hand.

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    Replies
    1. I also just want to point out that DDD got the 4th highest TOI without playing a single second on the PK, in a game where the Habs had 6 PKs.

      Delete
  72. So...ok. I was reading through HuffPost just now and we might need to change DDD's nickname. This guy who has two penises just wrote a book, and he goes by "Double Dick Dude" or DDD for short. So...yeah.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/03/man-with-2-penises_n_6410208.html

    No pictures there, it's a pretty safe link if you would like to learn more.

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  73. Haven't seen the highlights at all as I missed the game. I took a quick look at the boxscore and I'll say three things, then go to work, then watch highlights and read reviews, then comment...21 shots, 6 pp v. 2 and 18+ TOI for DDD

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  74. the Maritimer7:10 AM

    Missed this one, good thing apparently.

    SOP, first game at home after a road trip usually they suck.

    OK boys, get your shit together and get ready for Saturday.

    How's things going in the CotU lately? Never mind.

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  75. Tampa has a pretty nice team. Fast and Bishop is no diddler.

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  76. I don't read through it - too much drivel, but I wanted to point out that the Fried Man's "30 points" articles have actually become 5 or 6 points broken into 30 paragraphs. Just admit it's tough to come up with 30 interesting points each week ffs.

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  77. For a continuing boost to the great souce of shadenfreude you have to read this!
    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/hockey/kelly-trading-phil-kessel-is-the-key-to-a-maple-leafs-rebuild/article22324810/
    Cognitive dissoncence has come early this year.

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    Replies
    1. I can see donut boy going to a team like LA or Aniham for a bag of pucks. On a team where he was just another player he might be effective.

      Delete
  78. Steve is a prophet.
    https://twitter.com/MatiszJohn/status/552687884202172416/photo/1

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  79. Be careful what you wish for. The Broons, Phuctards and leaf all in full long term meltdown mode. Seriously where will the joy come from beating hasbeans?

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  80. Here's a skill testing question/riddle to pass some time.

    Being the new year and all, I've resolved to try to get (re)fit. So I grabbed my combination lock which I haven't used in about 4 years. I've had this lock about 10 years. At the time, to help remember the combination, I wrote a fictional name on the back of the lock. 2 surnames, but one of the surnames could also be a first name. The combination of my lock is 7-32-1. What is the name on the back of my lock?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya got me. Betcha 29 deciphers it.

      I still remember my old high school locker combo.

      Delete
    2. Thats an easy one, Saint Paddy!

      Delete
    3. the Maritimer3:56 PM

      Jacques.

      Delete
    4. the Maritimer5:14 PM

      Wait. 32+1 = 33 = Roy

      Delete
  81. R.I.P. to those at Charlie Hebdo that lost their lives to hatred.

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    Replies
    1. Very sad. I saw a previous interview with one on the victims and he said they cannot live in fear and he would rather die than not have the freedom of speech and live in a democratic society. (along those lines)
      R.I.P to all the victims who were slain by cowards.

      Delete
    2. RIP brave journalists. They truly gave their lives for our liberty.
      I am afraid that fiction is rapidly becoming reality and its going to be very bad. In particular the Without Warning Trilogy highlights some of the unique challanges faced by the people of France.

      Delete
  82. I find it terribly fun to see leafools rip the mediots who nauseously pedestal their team. Keep fucking each other in public morons.

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  83. Hilarious!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcwcvKI70gk&list=PLDEF90569A7374EF1#t=104

    PleXXXe and TFS™ FTWs.

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  84. A funny for leaf fans; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYpYs9GBXwY

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  85. Riddle answer:
    Combination 7-32-1
    2005/06 Habs #73, #21 = Ryder Higgins. It's still on the lock.
    Just the way my mind works i guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I still think 29 would've figured it out.

      My locker combo was 34-22-34. Here name was Jo.

      Delete
  86. Stop the presses, Caryle was fired as the final step in signing Stamkos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Maritimer9:45 PM

      Nah, they are gonna get McDavid. He wants to play for the leaf don't you know?

      Delete
  87. Replies
    1. the Maritimer9:48 PM

      Three things I noticed after the 5th Caps goal:

      1. Horacek looking pissed like Randy.
      2. Shanahan eating popcorn while Doobass was counting possession numbers.
      3. Nonis looking forlorn.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, that was fun.

      Delete
    3. Read that Doobass' very recent analytics reported to the genius shannie are what determined Carlyle's fate. Too fucking funny.

      Delete
    4. the Maritimer10:07 PM

      I think if they went back far enough, Wilson's analytics would look a lot like Carlyle's.

      Been a clusterfuck in TO for two and a half generations now.

      Delete
    5. Shame that a person lost his job over some dumbass doobass shit.

      Delete
    6. Read somewhere that they have been / will be testing some sort of player tracking technology developed by the same group that did the puck tracker. Remember the puck circled in fluorescent so TV viewers could see it. I think they'll be doing it at the All Star game.
      I don't see the NHLPA giving approval for implementing that throughout the league.

      Delete
    7. @Juce it will show Donut boy spent the game at the Tim Hortons concession. I kid you not he drinks a coke between periods. That look he gets on his face late in the third: he has to pee real bad.

      Delete
  88. broons could knock the leaf out of the wildcard spot.

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    Replies
    1. That would be fun.

      Nothing like combined leafool and mediot self-importance, ignorance and arrogance in full-effect/affect.

      Delete
    2. broons are officially in a wild card spot now, one point ahead of the leaf. But the Panthers are just two points behind them with 4 games in hand. It seems like Florida always has 4-5 games in hand on everyone.

      Meanwhile after a blazing start to the schedule, the games are few and far between for our Habbies. Currently 2/10 nights, then 4/7, then a week off.

      The leaf doesn't play this Saturday. SN will probably have a 6 hour in-dpeth interview with every leaf instead of showing the Habs nationally, though.

      Delete
  89. R.I.P. J.P. Parise condolences to Zach, family and friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIP Another total class guy. He also had a great name.

      Delete
  90. I have little love for the all star game, right now its the metrosexual divison against the ends of the earth or something.
    How about a black vs white game. There are enough black stars to make a great team, on the white side you would have Tim Tomas in goal, Mike Richards at center and so on. The Crotch can come out of retirement to coach them.

    ReplyDelete
  91. http://www.thehockeynews.com/blog/underlying-numbers-say-ducks-canadiens-not-cup-contenders/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. stats...smats...it's all bollocks - the game is played on the ice, not in the tissue that guy has in his hand!

      Delete
  92. "Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment's efforts to find a replacement for chief executive Tim Leiweke have stalled in recent weeks, with some board members musing that the company should try to convince Leiweke to stay on board."

    "The board has spent months interviewing possible replacements for Leiweke and has been collectively surprised that some qualified candidates haven't been interested in even interviewing for the job." Really???

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  93. DDD was feeling a little small on the PP, so they have brought up Stumpy Jr to try and make a whole player. Stumpy Jr has great DNA and his nickname must have some Stumpy in it.

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  94. SN Power Rankings. Leafs drop from 3 (try writing that # without laughing/puking) to 21. Getting closer.

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  95. The Nail will be on our next PP, take it to the bank.

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    Replies
    1. the Maritimer7:04 AM

      It's gonna cost Lego and a D for the Yak.

      Delete