Jan 7, 2017

Is there a doctor in the house? IceCaps-Laffs Open Thread


WARNING GRUESOME BLOODY BROKEN BENT FINGER PICTURE IN THIS POST.

Uhhh, sorry.

Kidz! Greetings! Tis I, your once and future mom wanted me to be a nice Jewish doctor and now is tremendously disappointed in me past glorious leader HF29. Your current glorious leader moe had some last minute out of town business and asked me to justify my Rolaids® Relief Blogger of the Year Award of 2014 with a quick fill in post. Put me in coaCH!

I should be informed. I should CHeck who's playing.

[/checks Habs roster]

Have I been in a coma? The fuck? I have no idea what's going on. According to HI/O, these were the forward lines in practice yesterday:

DanO - PatCHes - CHé
Ghetto - PleXXXe - Leko
MitCHell - Carr - Flynn
Scherbak - McCarron - Farnham

I guess some of those people sound vaguely familiar. On the bright side, while learning about that SCHerbak dude I found out there is a WHL team called the Everett Silvertips. I then learned there is a town called Everett. It's in Washington. I then learned that a silvertip is another name for a grizzly bear. Learning is fun! Also, DDD is still injured. That's another bright side.

Oh yeah fuck the Leaf. I covered that in a previous relief appearance. I will add that since then, this morning the SFU is in a tizzy because the Leaf are currently sitting in a playoff spot!!! VERY EXCITING!!!1!!!11!! IT'S A NEW AGE IN TRONNA PEOPLE.

Fuck 'em all. GYFHG.
~~~










163 comments:

  1. Best to avoid all pre-game, in-game, intermissions SFU leaf-sucking media. Consider streaming the game in Punjabi - unless you actually understand Punjabi.

    SFU have previously slipped in that the Atlantic division was weak when discussing the Habs standings but I'll bet you won't hear that now.

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  2. the Maritimer9:12 AM

    This is going to be an all day sports day. Phuckers/Bolts at 2pm, two NFL wildcard games, Sea Dogs/Mooseheads at 4pm local, then our IceCaps vs the glorious leaf early this evening. I think I will watch all the pre-game and intermission discussions just to see how much love the SFU can heap on their darlings. Should be rather funny. I hope moe and 29 are here to add to the commentary tonight.

    GYFHG!! Die leaf Die!!

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  3. #1 excuse for tonight's leaf beatdown by the IceCaps will be the Habs had 2 days off while the leaf were playing their 2nd game in as many nights. You will see this point made many times by the SFU and their lemmings.

    I was kind of 50/50 about watching this game, but looks like I'll be hunkering down for our first big winter storm here in Halifax tonight. And I'm interested in seeing the kid play. The M aptly named him benCHwarmer thanks to the genius of eMTy. Too bad he couldn't grow a wicked beard - he could be sCHerbaka. I wonder what stick he uses. He could be sCHerwood. Hoping he's a natural goal scorer. He could be a sCHerthing. I sCHer wouldn't mind if he could add a bit of offense...you know from his natural 4th line spot.

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  4. 22 minutes of pre-game. Over under on leaf talk and Habs talk?

    I'm giving the leaf 12 minutes and the Habs 4 minutes. The Habs are only that high because they can spend a little extra time gleefully talking about the spate of injuries they've recently endured.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Maritimer12:04 PM

      16 minutes leaf easy. The Habs got nuthin'. The leaf have auston and mitch. And wee willie. Plus they are in a playoff spot now. It could be the whole 22 minutes!!

      Delete
  5. I'm sure we nicked him when he was drafted but I forget what it was.

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  6. He could also be LHN for L'Homme Nikita. See eMTy being the genius he is actually put him on the 4th line as a type of 'spy' or secret agent. Little do opponents know the kid has 2nd line skills verging on 1st line skills once his ninja training is complete. So I vote for LHN.

    Speaking of, did anybody watch the La Femme Nikita TV series? This has made me wonder if it's worth checking out.

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    Replies
    1. the movie was excellent the series not so much. Unless I am mistaken there are two versions of the movie the first was the best it was in French.

      Delete
  7. https://www.nhl.com/canadiens/news/the-canadiens-signed-markus-eisenschmid-to-a-two-year-two-way-contract/c-285389184

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://www.habseyesontheprize.com/prospects/2017/1/7/14199034/montreal-canadiens-sign-markus-eisenschmid-to-two-year-contract-icecaps

      Delete
    2. the Maritimer12:06 PM

      The Cup is ours!! MB is a genius!!

      Delete
  8. I have had my Habs jersey t-shirt on all day and will be around later. I now I can find a feed - hoping it's not tranna based but we will have to see.

    I remember thinking La Femme Nikita was pretty fit. it was mindless TV with some intrigue...Decent enough for its time in history...

    I dont care who is on the ice tonight. No excuses - just fucking win! Oh and while they are at it, someone should ensure that they take out that Yank loving cocksucker Matthews...that would make excellent television for a Saturday night.

    Great fill btw 29. Keep it up!

    Go you fucking Habs Go!!

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  9. Anyone think it's merely coincidence that Bab$ is complaining about the bye week and the many back-to-backs right before they face the Habs?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babs can fuck off...the Habs have been on the road since last year and played 3 sets of back to back games. So fuck off you over paid waste of fuckinspace couldn't win shit un les you had a fucking all star team loser fuck! You went to tranna for the money so live with the shit that it brings. You are working for a loser organisation with the biggest whining loser fans in profesional sport - deal with you fuck!

      Delete
    2. Sounds like he's also laying the groundwork for an excuse when they don't actually make the playoffs. Keep his words in mind then when the SFU regurgitate what he was babbling about.

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    3. both Babs and the media - see below. Fuck em all

      Delete
  10. Entertaining start to Raiders-Texans if you can believe it

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  11. Two SFU lines of thought tonight if a loss:

    "Laff were exhausted after second game in 2 nights"
    "Laff were looking forward too much to rest of five day bye week"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Maritimer5:59 PM

      They can make all they excuses they want, but Price, CHe, BBQ and Max should be enough to squash the putrid leaf.

      Delete
  12. Dominant performance by the Seadogs but a hell of a goaltending performance by Mann-Dixon with the Moose. 6 more games against each other yet so time for revenge the M!

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    Replies
    1. the Maritimer5:57 PM

      Yep, that was a heck of a show put on by Mann-Dixon. Once the Sea Dogs get all hands on deck they are going to be a force. I'll make a couple of those games in Feb.

      Raiders/Texans until hnit starts.

      Made a lamb stew, potatos, carrots, sweet potatos, with fresh ginger, garlic cloves, rosemary and thyme for spices. Not a lamb fan but hadn't tried it in a long time. Not bad.

      Delete
    2. sounds delish the M!

      Delete
  13. OK I am going to watch all the SFU pregame so you don'y have to

    2nd lead on TSN Sportscentre "The Playoof-positioned Leafs..."

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  14. The TSN story about the game was mostly Bab$ splooging all over BBQ. That was an interesting story line to choose

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  15. without Carr Texans gonna win this game no problem I think. D is too good for Raiders QB #3 Ive never heard of

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  16. Alright Hockey Central this will be painful

    /pours giant beverage

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  17. "The wonder kids of the leafs are clerly the story that is taking the NHL by storm"
    -McClame

    /pours even bigger beverage

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  18. Saint Paddy's sCHerbakian comments above were fourhabsfansesque sarcasm at it's finest

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  19. "Toronto leapt into a playoff spot last night"

    Now Leafs splooging is getting out of control

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  20. pre-game: Leafs like the back to back because they are on a roll
    post-game: Leafs are tired because of the back to back

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  21. Likely have to pvr again.

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  22. Beware the jackal, he'll likely try to injure Nikita.

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  23. Taylor Hall a real mensch when giving his interview in a Devils uni. classy

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  24. Tonight's zebras are Jean Hebert (#15) Brian Pochmara (#16).

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  25. ok let's do this! DIE LEAF DIE

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  26. Great night skate 29, you are correct we do have an AHL club with a goalie and a Russian Bear.
    Scherback, potential nicks Babyface, LHN, based upon his sweater what about draCH

    The Caves of Drach are four great caves that are located in the island of Majorca, Balearic Islands, Spain. They are in the municipality of Manacor, near the locality of Porto Cristo. They were first mentioned in a letter 1338. Wikipedia

    Drach is a surname. Notable people with the surname include: David Paul Drach (1791–1868), Alsatian-Catican Roman Catholic librarian of Jewish descent ...

    Go You Fucking Habs Go, if we lose this one I dont want any knee jerk reaction other than firing the coach and putting DDD on waivers.
    Nikita Scherbak will wear number 38. Last worn by Drayson Bowman (Who?) in 2014-'15. Also Mike Lalor, Lyle Odelein, Vladimir Malakhov, Jan Bulis and Marc Denis.

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  27. I'd like to buy that painting

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  28. She's no Sara Diamond

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  29. I miss Sara Diamond, what Peter Prinncipled Puppet axed her?

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  30. I also miss Roger Doucet

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  31. Pretty sure our Daniel Carr could have filled in for Derek in Oakland and just as well or better than QB3.

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  32. quality feed from CHé

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  33. Patches, go for double digits

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  34. Leko!!!

    Eat shit SFU!

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  35. typical Leaf goalie sucking

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  36. "playing back to back nights..."

    excuses starting already

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  37. Hughson says "leafs playing back to back nights for the third time this season." Third fucking time?! That can't be right? The Habs have played 7 back to backs. With the compressed schedule this must be normal for every team. Right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. toughest schedule is the Leaf, obvs

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    2. I checked - they are playing their 8th. Same as the Habs. Hard to believe the Hugeson/Simpleton combo could get something wrong.

      Delete
  38. I am thankful I was able to witness the most bestes goal in human history

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  39. we have a # 89? who is that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. It's either AC/DC's Brian Johnson or possibly some unknown kid named Ryan Johnston. You choose.

      Delete
  40. In an alternate universeve we won the lottery and Mattews is playing 3 min a nite as a fourth line center, often benched for not using his size.

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  41. Its 2017 FFS you cant call someone Pollack on national tv

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  42. Hughsimp says sure the Habs have 7 regulars out, but none of the core group. gCHuk, kidG not part of the core group, nevermind Markov, Shaw and Byron...

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  43. the Maritimer7:41 PM

    Good recap above 29. Gracias.

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  44. go ahead make CHe mad. Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it. The last time CHe was mad this little thing called the Bay of Pigs happened.

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  45. the Maritimer7:44 PM

    Another leaf pp. Quelle surprise.

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  46. Beauty goal by LHN. Nice hands. Great composure.
    Or as Hughsimp puts it "tough break for the leaf"

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  47. Something is wrong, LHN was on the PP

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    Replies
    1. eMTy didn't realize it was a PP. Captain Kirk will be reamed out in the foxhole later.

      Delete
  48. I've got the munchies for brocolli

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    Replies
    1. preganant girls for me

      Delete
  49. the Maritimer7:53 PM

    The leaf were tired on that shift.

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  50. Every time my dog see Blue, he runs to the TV too attack CrotCH

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  51. Texans 27-14 final

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  52. Tough game for the Raiders. That rookie QB was totally lost.
    I got a feeling the Lions beat the Seahawks. But Wilson is a playoff monster so I won't put money on it.

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  53. Must be full moon.....Crotch making sense re: smaller markets for World Juniors

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  54. the Maritimer7:58 PM

    Re: the juniors. Grapes just repeated exactly what I said about Hockey Canada. Greed rules. Go back to your roots.

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  55. It looked like kidA glared at BBQ from the bench

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was actually looking because the Habs scored. Wasn't in the mood to celebrate though. But the SFU would have you believe it was a glare.

      Delete
  56. It would have to be a really good strain I smoked, for me to carry a BrOOn off the ice

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    Replies
    1. Depends where we were carrying him to...

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    2. Although...not surprised by the class act of our organization

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  57. we like CHe when he is angyr

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  58. i think I saw Leko limping. oy

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  59. that 4th line is some good-sized dudes

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    Replies
    1. and now they're fighting

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    2. well actually Farnham is the little guy

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  60. So how is that original hit not an interference penalty when the puck is 20' away? And will Hughsimp mention this fact?

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  61. uh oh they tried to kill TFS

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  62. Good to see the players got the notice from Carey. Take care of shit.

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  63. That is some piss poor defence.

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  64. Look, it's a Jackal in the Box.

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  65. the Maritimer8:51 PM

    Free blow jobs for marner by hugeson/simpleton after the game.

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  66. the Maritimer8:53 PM

    BBQ is gonna break that hymen yet.

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    Replies
    1. Should be popped by the end of the night.

      Delete
    2. Is hymen related to CHerry?

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  67. It was a pretty sloppy second period...Somewhat lucky to have the lead but the fucking leaf a re getting dirtier all the time. Someone better take that fucking hymen sonofabitch and break him in half. I am very nervous and out of booze...so it's going to be a tough hour or so...Hang the fuck on boys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. fire up the bong

      Delete
    2. Why didnt I think of that!! LeHab Dude! Awesome!

      Delete
  68. My son works in the medical marijuana business. I trade the marijuiana stocks on the TSX. I like to tell my mom that her gtrandson grows weed and I buy and sell it

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  69. I'm going to throw a frozen lasagna in the oven

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  70. of course we have a penalty for no reason

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. for deflowering

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    2. *attempted deflowering

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  71. BBQ looks pissed sitting in the box

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  72. Replies
    1. lasagna and brocolli too

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  73. hahahaha worst goal ever

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  74. the Maritimer9:24 PM

    leaf suck. ha ha.

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  75. Seahawks WR made a great TD catch...but I'm pretty sure he was facemasking his defender at the same time.

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    Replies
    1. catCH of the year even with the facemasking

      Delete
  76. Not to put the ol' cart before the horse, but a W in this game would give the Habs 10 of 14 points on this road trip. That's pretty fucking good.

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    Replies
    1. the Maritimer9:30 PM

      Despite the coach.

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    2. look at that cart speeding ahead of the horse

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  77. uh oh (Y)E limping now

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  78. cash it bury these fuckers

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  79. ack how was that missed

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  80. Barberio has not had a good game. More give aways than a fat man in a red suit on Christmas eve.

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  81. the Maritimer9:43 PM

    Well, well, hugeson finally mentions the 12 game losing streak. Must have hurt.

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  82. yikes shooting gallery

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  83. hell of a road trip in the end

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  84. the Maritimer9:51 PM

    Thirteen wins in a row against the wretched, putrid fucking leaf. Suck on that SFU.

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  85. Good hangin' with you guys. Off to watch the last half of the Lions/Hawks then a good sleep before lots of shovelling in the morning.

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  86. i think that drops the leaf out of the playoff spot. im sure tyat wont be discussed

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  87. LHN's goal the highlight of the game. as well as the bitter bitter tears of SFU

    ok me too off to Hawks Lions. night kidz, good job!

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  88. nice win, Shaggy scares me, top hundred players mathimaticly 24 must be Habs

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  89. N8 had a pretty ropey game tonight I thought. Struggled with the pick and some weak clearing. Love that Big Mac and LHN both broke their hymen tonight against the fucking leaf. Night all and thanks again 29!

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  90. Looks like the Seahawks will walk away with the win.

    I was just wondering what the longest winning streak by one team over another is and I think the broons had 17 in a row against the Sens when they entered the league in the early 90's. Just sayin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not Geoff Molson12:25 AM

      I think Anaheim had a similar record against Edmonton recently

      Delete
  91. the Maritimer8:48 AM

    Sunday mornings are so much better when the Habs beat the leaf on Saturday night. Seems to help with the comment numbers as well.

    I thought the highlight of the night was when that POS hymen ran Price, when Carey got up he was looking for somebody to punch out. BBQ had already taken care of business for him. Then he was looking around... anybody else want to go??

    Actually, I'll bet the old Crotch enjoyed all the fights last night. Big McC held his own, Farmhand did OK, hymen was lucky BBQ didn't destroy him. The Jackal yapped all night but CHe put him in his place. Great job boys!

    ReplyDelete
  92. the Maritimer8:53 AM

    The lead story over at tsn's main page is the Giants/Packers. I guess they don't want to talk about last night. Tee hee.

    GO GIANTS!!

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  93. Great thread, you guys kill me.
    Good game. I loved how CHe sent the jackal to the ice when he came up and tried to hit him from behind, like get lost, don't bother me you POS.

    LHN's goal was a beauty. Congrats, kid. Time on the PP? CK must have sent him out there. Also can't believe he got some decent ice time (11:48) for his first game. Post game credited the pass from Dish who he called 'Pizza' The team got TFS's message loud and clear, now he can step back and let the guys take over when jerks try to run and injure him, now those jerks also get the message they're going to pay for it when they do.
    McM is making himself a place on the team, wonder what they'll do when everyone's healthy again. Of course, mentions go out to Leko too. BBQ needs stronger sticks, may not have gotten a crosscheck penalty if it didn't break like a toothpick.

    No goals for Matthews? Poor SFU, poor, poor SFU. 13 losses in a row vs the Habs, poor SFU.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Oh and Bab$ claiming playing Andersen was a mistake 'cause you know, the b2b excuse.

    '"Obviously I didn't make the right decision there," Babcock said after the game. "In saying that, the last time we did it we thought it was the right decision. This time it wasn't the right decision. It's amazing how winning and losing goes into those things."

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    Replies
    1. Didn't I hear that Andersen allowed 4 goals in 3 of his last 4 starts? Guess the were all on the 2nd of b2bs too.

      Delete
  95. Oh yeah, free wings!

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    Replies
    1. the Maritimer11:34 AM

      Anybody know how many wings you actually get? I guessing 5?

      Delete
    2. You get 8. Catch is you have to cash in before the next game.

      Delete
  96. the Maritimer12:15 PM

    Got this over at Pension Plan Puppets, a bitter leafool expresses himself:

    "Fuck Carey Price and his deal with the devil.

    Fuck Radulov and his jerk-ass, gap-toothed ugly mug.

    Fuck Weber and his non-Subbanness.

    Fuck Patchouli and his pretensions at being an elite winger.

    FUCK. THE. HABS."

    Too funny!

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  97. Interesting the CP article over at TSN goes on about how there are only 6 leafs remaining from the team that last beat the Habs 3 years ago in January 2014, rebuild etc etc. Yet no mention of the fact there were only 5 Habs skaters last night that played in that game - TFS, Patches, Pleks, (Y) and N8.

    A bright sunny day after beating the leafs. Great shoveling weather, and there's been a lot of shit shoveling at SFU. Their lack of pride in journalism is astonishing. It makes me a feel a bit more up when they are so down.

    10 points clear of 2nd in the Atlantic one game shy of the half way mark*. I'll take it.

    *Despite the coach.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Maritimer9:43 PM

      SFU = zero integrity.

      They hang off every word Blabs utters and worship the shamaplan.

      Delete
  98. the Maritimer8:54 AM

    Well, that's it for the Giants this year. I guess it was a lot to expect of them to go to Green Bay and win for a 3rd time. Better luck next year. Time to start looking at drafting a QB as well. Eli's not getting any younger. OBJ needs to reign in his emotions as well, stop being a prima donna every time somebody touches you.

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  99. > http://fourhockeyfans.blogspot.ca/2017/01/keep-climbing-caps.html

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