We're handing out some mid-season grades for this Bolts preview and open thread

Yes it's another FHF rerun of a sexy teacher. I'm out of ideas, which is why FHF closed. But at least this one has the right teams and everything!

Didn't the season start, like, yesterday? Well apparently not, because we have now played half of it. And that means it's time for the old trope, mid-season grades! These grades are my own and do not reflect the views of 4HF or its management, Board of Directors, shareholders, or affiliated companies. Also, they involved no research or thought whatsoever because I am fucking lazy. I'm just spitballing here, so stop your whining about what grade I gave to who (whom?). I'm also not grading every player; again, because I am fucking lazy (go ahead and grade who I missed in the comments). I'll also be loading up on nicknames, so apologies to you newbies. Tell moeman to make a glossary. Pants!

CHarger ~ A+++. He has done everything asked of him and way, way, more. The second + is for fighting Lucic. The third + is for the backhand sausage pass from Thursday. Remember when we signed him for 4 years / $10 mill and you freaked out? Yeah, I'm talking to you. You said "how the fuck can you give a role player $2.5 mill a year?" Eat those words now, and wash them down with some Disaronno to sweeten up the bitterness of being wrong. He is the beating pounding heart of this team right now.

Gally ~ A. We were all really fucking excited when two rookies made the Habs lineup to start the season. New era! But be honest, you were much more excited about gCHuk, you said he was going to be the better player. Well grab the Disaronno again. I love this kid.

PatCHes ~ A-. Had a bit of a rough, er, patch, for a bit. But he has 20 points in 20 GP now, and is our leading scorer (by 5 points). AND HE FUCKING CAME BACK IN A WEEK FROM MAJOR SURGERY. At least I think an appendectomy is major surgery. Dammit Jim, I'm a lawyer not a doctor.

LEGO ~ B+. Since his benCHing, he has been what we hoped since we got him in the whatshisname trade. Skilled, skating well, working hard, in the right place at the right time, etc, etc. Our best centre right now.

MT2.0 ~ B+. I am still not sure what the "system" is (SKATE SKATE maybe?) but we need to give him some credit. What scared me when we hired him was that MT1.0 was a crazy psychopath behind the bench who you expected to throw a stick at a ref at any moment. v2.0 is way more CHill. Still not so enamored with his line juggling, but give him credit for rewarding and punishing players as they deserve, even as the game goes on. That's, uh, smart? And this team has somehow gelled.

Diazling ~ B+. Too bad he got his headache, he was arguably the Habs' best and most consistent D there for a while, to the shock of just about everyone.

TFS ~ B+/B.  A couple of lousy (ooh boy were they lousy) games and you people are trading him for Luongo, then he comes back and stands on his 41-save head Thursday night. Give Budy Call a B+/B too, he's done some quality backup work after a rough start.

PFK ~ B+ to D. Some nights/shifts he is PFK. Some nights/shifts he is just terrible. MT2.0 seems to have let him loose a bit more lately, maybe that will help him relax and be more consistent.

The rest of the D ~ B. They are all over the place. Some nights they look great, some nights you're like, WTF? They need help, as demonstrated in the Pens game. A big, hulking shutdown D. Like, I don't know, Komisarek?

Gio / PleXXXe ~ B. Working hard in all situations and being the good team players they are, but both have seemed just a little off a little too often for my tastes.

Habs Fans ~ C.  Admit it, you're just waiting for Matt-Fear the Collapse to show up in the comments. We just can't enjoy anything. Except beating the Bs. That was fucking sweet.

MOEmaN / BlanCHe / CHeese ~ C.  Look, I am not expecting a lot from fourth line guys. But we need some more grit besides CHarger and one of these guys (or all of them preferably) has to step up and do that. Or be trade meat for some other 4th line guys.

DGMB ~ incomplete. So far well done, but we have to see how this CCR-Colé deal works out in the long run, and what he can do at the deadline. You don't judge a GM on half a season.

OVERALL ~ A. You expected the Boys to barely fight for a playoff spot, and at the halfway mark they are in first place in the Eastern Conference sitting at 15-5-4. Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Who woulda thunk it?

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Let the second half begin! 7 PM from the Tampa Bay Times Forum. With the Leaf playing Sid, maybe the game is on CBC in some parts of Montreal, and other outlets. DDD gave us a shootout win in Tampa the last time we rolled through Florida, like two weeks ago. Habs go to Florida more than my 75-year old Jewish mother. The boys are looking for their third win in four games on this five-game road trip. Bolts are scoring but terrible, 3-7-0 in their last 10 and one point out of last in the East. Here's how bad they are:



Habs been spreading around the scoring lately, though PFK has a nice 5-game points streak. Stamkos has a million points (estimate) for the Bolts. Is anyone worried that there has been absolutely no word on Diazling's and RBQ's respective heads? I am. We've called up Greg Pateryn (who?) to shore up the injured D after Swiss Mister went down with a knee, doubtful he'll play. For the Bolts, our old friend CHicken spent too long in the deep frier and can't lace 'em up.See you at Thee Dollhouse after the game.

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Florida! BeaCHes! Seems like a good theme for the photo array. Our first one is also an FHF rerun. A you know who classic.

 

 

G Y F H G !!!!!