Hockeys Pucks ~ Habs players' nicknames according to us

Remember Hamr? Now that was nick that was easy to remember

Hola FHFers and newbies alike! HF29 decided to create this page because his own meth-addled brain cannot keep track of all our awesome Habs nicknames. Thank god for moeman who really helped get this done, even providing explanations.

Blend into the comments section with ease with this handy dandy guide to nicks given by the sharpest comment section on the hockey interwebs. Even in useful alphabetical order! And numbers!

If you have corrections or suggestions, hit us up in the comments.

CURRENT ROSTER 2017/18 and recent callups from Laval


Price, Carey (31) - TFS or TFSTM if you can do fancy coding like moeman. Stands for The Franchise Saviour. 29 is still not sure if the franCHise is saved.
Niemi, Antti, (37) - ime iN! - Niemi backwards because he's the Anti-Niemi
Montoya, Al (35) - Inigo. Prepare to die! Re-watCH the movie ‘The Princess Bride’.
Lindgren, Charlie (39) - CHill.  Because he's cool and calm.  Or Wonka.  Because CHocolate.
Fucale, ZaCH  (30) - FuCotU - Anther way to tell off the blowhard in Tronna?  Sign me up!


Alzner, Karl (22) - LZ.  Landing Zone. Or ALZwell!
Benn, Jordie (8) - BigBenn (BB for short). He's biggish and his name is Benn. Or J&B, because whiskey.
Mete, Victor (53) - Meat. Goes well with BBQ.
Petry, Jeff (26) - Dish. Explains itself. If not, go to a CHemistry lab.
Schlemko, David (21) - CHien - sCHlemdog Millionaire...CHien because we parlez vous in these parts!
Weber, Shea (A) (6) - BBQ. Made of steel, all season use, gets hot.


Byron, Paul (41) - LB. For Lord Byron. Classy!
Carr, Daniel (43) - Auto. Beep beep!
Danault, Phillip - Dano. Book 'em DanO! Bilingualism rules.
de La Rose, Jacob (25) - DLR ($). We want to see him make it rain.
Deslauriers, Nicolas (20) - Fiver - named for the old guy on our 5 dollar bill.
Domi, Max (13) - MiniMax
Drouin, Johathan (92) - Druid. The three goals of Druidism are wisdom, creativity, and love. This guy is smart and creative with the puck and loves to score. The man should be wearing a cloak on the ice.
Froese, Byron (42) - Freeze. Hope we find out he has ice in his veins.  Could also be 'The Answer' because 42...Hitchhiker's Guide.
Gallagher, Brendan (A) (11) - KidA, formerly KidG. SwitCHed to A when he got one sewn on his jersey. 29 still says KidG. Because, meth.
Hudon, Charles (54) - CHud. You got a CH in your name, it's part of your nick.  Period.  So Chud.
Lehkonen, Artturi (62) - Leko. Because Lego is gone.
McCarron, Mike (34) - McM. Is this because Big Mac somehow?  Not sure.
Mitchell, Torrey (17) - MitCH. Lack of creativity here. We admit it.
Pacioretty, Max (C) (67) - PatCHes. It fits.
Plekanec, Tomas (A) (14) - PleXXXe, SuperpleXXXe. Back in the day he was TurtlepleXXXe. He’s SuperSeXXXy when he scores. The upper-case Xs are optional.
Scherbak, Nikita (38) - LHN. a take on La Femme Nikita.  Except, you know, he's a dude.
Shaw, Andrew (65) - SSR. Shawshank Redemption.

CoaCHes / Management

Bergevin, Marc (GM) - DGMB. Directeur Général Marc Bergevin.  Also GMGQ because of his snappy dressing or BBB.  BBB pops out of his office around trade deadline time and if he sees his shadow, he dives into the bargain bin to find crappy, useless players and we suffer for the next 6 weeks.
Daigneault, JJ  (Asst. CoaCH) - ??? (Dyn-o-mite!). 29 will be impressed / happy if someone gets that reference.
Molson, Geoff (owner) - Geoff. Because we are on a first name basis with him.
Muller, Kirk (Asst. CoaCH) - CK. Cap(i)tain(e) Kirk, also a play on CK because he’s hot and smells good.
Waite, Stéphane - (G coaCH) - What.  As in "Wait...what?"
CJv2 or CJ2 - Claude Julien

Misc. FHFun stuff

NOAR - Nice Ones All Around - complements of K3X - appreciation of the imagery in the SF (Sexy Friday) and game day posts (or any other post for that matter).
SFU, aka SFUckers - Sick Fuck United, CotU mediots - toronto-based media that has nothing good to say about the Habs and won’t STFU about their leaf
CotU - Centre of the Universe - self-labelled toronto nick
Mediots - biased hockey media types
mclame - ron maclean’s nick I bestowed on him at the CBC site 10+ years ago
splooge - what came/comes (see what I did there?) out of Pierre maguire’s gaping maw
Bob cold - Bob Cole’s à propos nick
Gawley - Gary Galley
timfuckingpeel, bradmotherfuckerwatson, chrisfuckinglee - part of fuckface bettman’s elite referee crew that for some reason ref a lot of Habs games, some from the ORA (Ontario ref Association)
Ice cream - when FHFers hit the 200 comments in a thread Blogger makes us load, more …
The System™ - Carey Price, as in MT2.0 was relying on 'the system' to win games.
Chocula-like shell - Jacques Martin’s late 2nd/3rd period CHoke hold
Fuckface bettman - SPEAKS FOR HIMSELF

The Vault - 4HF Gold

Stuff written at the original site that should be coated in gold. ...

Previous player nicknames

gCHuk - Alex Galchenyuk
Hog - Brandon Davidson
CHé - Alexander Radulov
Errol - Brian Flynn
DDD - wee David Desharnais
Plaid - Greg Pateryn
Vodkov - Andrei Markov :-(
(Y)  - Alexei Emelin
N8 - Nathan Beaulieu
PFK - Pernell Fucking Karl :-(
Lego - Lars Eller
Yeast - Thomas Fleischman
Sheik - Mike Condon
Breezeby - Patrice Brisebois
arrogant fuckface - mt2’s other nick
Budy call - Peter Budaj
The urologist (MAB) - Marc-André
Diazzling - Raphael Diaz
mikey ribs - Mike Ribiero
CCRyder - Ryder
Kovy, AK27 - Alexie Kovalev
CHarger - Brandon Prust
CHip - Chipchura then Dale Weise
Tintin - Tinordi
d’ArCHe - Mathieu d’Arche
CHicken - Pouliot
Chokula - Jacques Martin
Cunney - Randy Cunnyworth
Squid - Mike Cammelieri
TiTs - Kostytsin brothers
Crotch's Corner - don cherry
Mexicant - Scott Gomez
Buttman - see fuckface bettman
Barbie/Ken Doll - Mark Barberio
? - Tom Gilbert
Big John - John Scott
DSP - Devante Smith-Pelly
Toker - Dustin Tokarski
the Little Fuckity-Fuck (HF10™) - Mike Ribeiro
Dream - Mike Weaver
Cake - Jiri Sekac
PAP - P.A. Parenteau
Moenman - Travis Moen
MM (?) - Manny Malhotra
GonCH - Sergei Gonchar
RBQ - Rene Bourque
Carnaval (?) - Michael Bournival
Cube - Francis Bouillon
Beer - Daniel Briere
Gio - Brian Gionta
Gorgeous - Josh Gorges
Lebrow - Louis Leblanc
StaCHe - George Parros
Useless piece of deadline pickup shit playoff dud - Thomas Vanek
BlanCHe - Ryan White
Tenderness - Guillaume Latendresse

~ ~ ~
2017 (aka deadline plugs & busts)
Dwight King = HRH
Martinsen = Thor
Steve Ott = So


  1. Thank fucking god!

    /takes meth hit

  2. I'm lovin' it. (FHFuck you McDs!)

  3. I need this to be bookmarked!

    1. It'll be permanent in the sidebar.

  4. See also...timfuckingpeel, chrisfuckinglee,bradmutherfuckerwatson

  5. chrisfuckinglee

  6. We will have a Misc. section.

    Keep em' coming FHFers!

    1. Gotta be an ORA section somewhere, Morton and timfuckingpeel hail from Ontario.

  7. How about Dean Morton? He needs a ref-nick.
    Was that the game that MT was jumping on the bench with his arm raised showing him the puck because it went into the players bench and NOT over the glass into the crowd when he called a delay of game? or was he just the Wings' drafted coach that only called penalties on the Habs during a Wings' game? Well, it was one or the other anyway.

  8. Also...Buttman

    1. Yep, fuckface is there, soon.

  9. Anonymous10:44 PM

    Giant Mexican Squid

    1. yes the Mexicant deserves a place in history

    2. also squid and the TiTs brothers, Crotch's Corner and its McSplooge no?

  10. I suggest for mitCH, CHin, cause he plays with Dano and is ethnic. Chin Ho Kelly, we need a HO for sure whats that other guy on that line name

  11. @29 JJ Good Times, Dyno mite. The pre Cosby black comedy. No CHemisty off set that I know of.

  12. Hanley I say Banjo cause his name is so Dueling

  13. the Maritimer9:55 AM

    Pouliot = CHicken!

    Jacques Martin = Chokula (he had a lasso and stopwatch for PFK's shifts

    Randy Cunneyworth = Cunney, *ahem*

  14. D'arche? was it archer?

  15. uh... where
    -the urologist
    -r. diaz
    -mikey ribs
    -m. cup winner ryder
    -dutch wayne gretz
    -sorry i got _____ in ure eye
    -tinordi jr
    -thomas jr

    many more to come...

  16. How about PM (Piano Man)for Joel Hanley, after Billy Joel?

  17. Vanek also Vanish, because he vanishes in important games or when his bookie comes near.
    Much like Magic, aka Kent Nillson.

  18. Blake Geffrion = Baby Boom Boom.

  19. Zach Redmond - how about McGill (because of the McGill Redmen hockey team) or just plain ZaCH?

  20. 2017-18 additions / suggestions:

    Mete = CHar or Meat
    Drouin = Druid
    Alzner =
    Hemsky =
    Hudon = Hard-on

  21. For Alzner I like LZ landing zone because he is kinda like a vietnam era throwback. Plus a bit of HMS Gill.
    Morrow i like (t) cause its a Sopraones ref and we lost (Y)

    1. offical T video

      You will LOL

  22. wow, I needed that update!

  23. NOAR - Nice ones all round...