Let the big weekend test begin - Pens preview and open thread

If you Google image search "hot teacher", many many FHF results pop up. So this is a rerun I guess.

Ooh boy. The two other best teams (maybe) in the East are the Pens and the Bs. Though the Pens have already lost 8 games so I'm not sure they even belong in the conversation. HOWEVER, still, it's a killer weekend, as we play both of them. It's not just a test, it's a Bar exam, Nuclear Physics final, and blind man's driving test while high all rolled into one. Let's hope for a passing grade.

Nervously waiting to get into the room - 7 PM from the Bell Centre (for the last time in a while). On the full CBC only because the Laff aren't playing, and other outlets. Habs hot, Pens not; 7-1-2 vs. 5-5-0 in their last 10.

Well ahead of the bell curve - PatCHes!! 6-4-10 in his last 7 games, and is now our leading scorer. Technically, CCRyder is our 2nd leading scorer. The Pens' leading scorer however has twice as many points as ours (Sid, obvs).

Looking at a D or an F - No one's really failing for the Habs lately I guess. The Pens' goalies are pretty crappy right now, but as soon as I write that, I'm sure I've jinxed Fleury to a 40-save shutout. Sorry.

He don't need no stinkin' CHeat sheet - CoaCH MT2.0 for the first time faces the team that sacked him en route to the Stanley Cup in 2009. Seven guys from that team are still on the Pens. Inside info!

Seeing blurry from staring at the books too long  - Concussion mania! Malkin, RBQ, and Diazling all have headaches. Hey, remember Nokia? He actually skated yesterday.

Post-exam adult entertainment - you're going home to masturbate and then crash because you're exhausted from pulling an all-nighter to study on Adderall.

~~~

All the pics in our photo array for tonight's game come courtesy Anna Galchenyuk's Instagram which I recently came across and went through like your average stalker. She's fun.

G Y F H G !!!!!!!

Dare to dream - Sid preview and open thread

Many thanks to you know who for the quality 'shop. She hasn't lost her touch.

So if any of you have seen the outstanding episode of Start Trek: TNG called Parallels, you know that there are parallel universes out there called quantum realities, where certain things can be different. This actually has some scientific basis in quantum mechanics. You can imagine a world where you're a little taller, or you chose to study interpretive dance instead of going to law school. My perfect alternate reality is pretty much the same as this one, except meth is a little cheaper. I'm easy to please.

So it's pretty easy to imagine a reality where Sid Le Kid only ever wanted to play for his childhood heroes, the Montreal Canadiens. After his stellar junior career in the Q, he would refuse to sign with the virtually-bankrupt Pittsburgh Penguins who drafted him; Pittsburgh had fallen on tough times following the tragic death of Mario Lemieux in a golf cart accident. Pittsburgh engineered a trade to Montreal, fulfilling the dreams of the young Sid. An instant sensation, Sid takes Montreal by storm, and wins the Calder trophy. He unites the anglo-franco divide when he's named captain at 21, giving every interview in flawless French. Two years later he teams with veteran centre Saku Koivu and a 19 year-old phenom goalie named Carey Price to lead the Habs to the first of their three straight Stanley Cups. He becomes the most beloved figure in bleu blanc rouge since Head Coach Kirk Muller led the team to the Cup in '93.

It's also just as easy to imagine a reality where Sid comes to Montreal, but his offensive output is choked to death by The System^TM until he demands a trade out of town.

In our reality, Sid comes to town tonight with his Pens uni on. After two days of being back in the blogging swing, I'm already at the "Habs suck so I'm not wasting my time on them" phase. That was quick! So 7 PM on the full CBC, watch the Habs lose. Sid had three assists and a tussle in a 6-3 win over the Sens yesterday. Habs had 6 power plays that produced a total of -3 shots (estimate) and barely showed up for the PHucktards. This might be ugly.