The Stripperriffic Evening Skate pops in to say fuck 'em all and GYFHG!

Straight cash homie

Ask and ye shall receive kidz! I am sure moeman won't mind that I sabotaged this here fine blog to say a few words.

Like the ladies up there who love their cash, 29 loves his cash too. Though he took a job as a law prof which pays dick all. But you know what 29 loves more than straight cash homie? The Habs.

Fuck everyone talking shit. Fuck SFU. This is a new season, the possibilities are endless. We have a superstar goalie, a superstar (maybe) forward 'stie calice, and some other decent players. Anything can happen. I don't give a shit what DGMB did or did not do, I only care that it is a new season, and shit gets decided on the ice. Where it belongs.

So grab a beverage and let's do this thing. GYFHG.

~~~

Gather 'round ye olde pole for an old-fashioned stripperriffic Rags Game 4 preview and open thread

Greetings kidz! 'Tis I, your old-fashioned once and future adult entertainment leader 29 kicking it old school for his debut in this here playoffs. How does this work again?

Waiting in line details - 7 PM EST start (EDT? I never know what the clock change gets you to) from famed Madison Square Garden. It's really the only old-tyme iconic hockey building left, right? That's sad. Game on CBC, TVA Sports, and MSG Network and NBCSN for you Americans. For you cord-cutters and foreigners / ex-pats, I am sure Steve can fill you in on the online options of questionable legality. Now, I have a confession. I really don't mind Paul Romanupchuck. Sure he's CotU and biased, but he's a serviceable play by play robot. It could have been way (*cough* Cold) worse. I love this mysterious factoid from Paul R's Wikipedia page - "he did not call a single 2016 NHL conference final game for unknown reasons."

Pay your cover CHarge to - Blue Seat Blogs. They've got everything you could ask for in a DIY amateur blog. Hideous layout, badly formatted photos, an insane amount of ads paying them 2 cents a month, and a wonderful mix of honesty about their own team ("Last night’s loss was the worst playoff game the Rangers have played at home in quite some time" "the defense should also be ashamed of themselves") and disdain for their opponents ("Montreal is not good and is not deep. They have top-end talent, but their depth is terrible"). Completely inaccurate, but that's what I look for in a blog.

Hot sexxxy Habs to watCH - Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché! Ché!

Speaking of Ché! you should head over to Scott in Montreal's blog and read his excellent Amazing Ché parody. Did you know Scott has a blog? Did you know Scott is some sort of guitarist of note in Montreal's bar scene? The more you know.

Skanky Habs to watCH - Not much to complain about right now. I suppose we could use some goals from PatCHes, but he's got 17 shots (leads the NHL) and is working hard, they'll come. And I think N8 seems a little lost.

Hot sexy Rags to watch - King Henrik no doubt. Without him the series is over already. And even this hetero male will admit he is HOT. And SEXY. Look at him! Yowza.

Skanky Rags to watch - All of 'em, Katie.

Not dancing due to too many vodka Red Bulls - (Y)E skated again in Montreal yesterday, some are reporting he'll be back before the series ends. As of press time, I have no lineup notes. I think I used to do this much later in the day.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - Rick's Cabaret and Steakhouse is famous for a reason and has everything you could ask for in a P-GAEE. Huge, classy, beautiful ladies, aged to perfection steaks and listed on the NASDAQ. Wait, what? Also, very conveniently located about a block and a half from MSG. Not that I would know. You could even go before the game too, as they have a $10 prix fixe lunch. It's a steal! Again, not that I would know.

~~~

Ladies and Gentlemen, on stage for your dancing pleasure - HF29 and the Nashville Preds Preview and Open Thread

I think I'm required by law to only post rear views on 4HF

Greetings 4HF'ers! Your humble god-like ex-leader has returned from blogging purgatory where he misses his strippers. With a little blackmail, moeman has kindly turned over the keys to the castle so I could remember what it means to love, and to give him a very well-deserved day off. Now how does this go again?

Waiting in line details - 7 PM EST (EDT maybe? I can't keep those straight) start from Music City's Bridgestone Arena. Bridgestone Arena? Really? How long have I not been blogging for? On all the usual outlets including CBC, though I'm guessing most of the country gets the Leafs-Sens game instead. This will be the only game the Habs and Preds play this season. But what about the tradition? Actually this game is some sort of big deal in Nashville, because it's the franchise's 1000th game, all coached by Barry Trotz. I think the Habs played their 1000th game during the Depression. Preds are actually decent, 6th in the West (Tennessee is West?) with an 8-5-2 record. Better than us! They're also coming home after a road trip that got them 7 of 10 points.

Pay your cover charge to - there are a surprising number of Preds blogs out there considering Tennessee ain't exactly Minnesota. The granddaddy of them all is On the Forecheck.

Hot sexxxy Habs to watCH - PleXXXe 5 points in his last 3 games, Gio 4 points over his last 3. And props to MOEmaN for the highlight reel goal of the year so far in the last game. What a shot.

Skanky Habs to watCH - King of the PP DarCHe has zero points in his last 9 games. He just needs more PP time, CoaCH! Cole pointless in 3.

Hot sexy Preds to watch - Patric Hornqvist has 6 points over his last 3 games. Some dude named "Legwand" is a point per game this season. That name is a joke, right? Shea Weber is always worth watching, and they have a hot goalie in the King of the Double Consonants, newly wealthy Pekka Rinne. And who knows if our old friend Little Tits is sexy, but when he pops a hat trick tonight, you'll want to have watched him. Let me interrupt this old-school stripper format to bring you a choice Little Tits quote, fancy-pantsed formatted even:

"The coach (in Nashville) comes to talk to you every day, asking about you and your game.It's not like Montreal, where the coach never talks to the players."

Speaking of ex-Habs, I think Frankie Bouillon may also play for the Preds, but I'm too lazy to CHeck.

Skanky Preds to watch - I'm barely following the Habs this season, how the fuck am I supposed to know who's shit for a team I didn't even know was in the Western Conference?

Not drinking due to too many vodka Red Bulls - unfortunately, it looks like the Mexicant makes his "glorious" return to the lineup tonight.That leaves the walking wounded as Tits and Squid, though rumour has Squid as a game time decision. That of course doesn't include the longer-term casualties of Vodkov, Campoli, White et al. Swiss Mister II is back, at the expense of (Y)Emelin. Budy Call is between the stripper poles for just the second time this season. The aforementioned "Legwand" is questionable for the game.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - I swear there is not a single strip club in Nashville with a functioning website. Tragic, really. Here's the Facebook page for Gabrielle's. Looks ok. And don't forget, all Nashville strip clubs are BYOB. That's a mixed blessing.

Here's a little pre-game head-banging musical interlude for y'all in honour of this news. GYFCHG!!!!