Lightning Crashes ~ Bolts Game 1 preview and open thread

Greetings, underdogs who were 2nd in the league this year! 'Tis I, HF29, your once and former glorious leader here for the traditional and lucky opening game of a series preview! It's 1-0! (this year). I also provide this introductory claptrap so you will know 'twas I, not your current glorious leader moeman, who penned the parody to follow, as he is surely the master of the form and I am but a mere plagiarist. Though I think I may have done some parodies back in the day. Someone look that up for me; I've had too much meth to remember. Sorry I'm rambling. But I'm nervous as fuck! On the one hand, 4-0-1 against this year (go ahead, mediots, say the Lightning won 5 against the Habs this year, it's even true-ish). On the other hand, we did sweep them in the playoffs last year. Haven't heard that mentioned much, not sure why. On the other other hand, according to everyone the Habs will not win this series. On the other other other hand, when was everyone ever right. On the other other other other hand, I watCHed sip the last series and we were, uh, not great. On the other⁵ hand, plenty of room for improvement!

SO, recall what I wrote when the playoffs started:

• The Sens have to come back to Earth sooner or later. Might as well be now;
• Then the Habs have to beat the Bolts sooner or later. Might as well be now;
• Then the Habs will be motivated to take revenge on the Rangers from last year;
• Then the Habs will meet the winner of the Western Conference, who will have spent the previous 6 weeks in a gladiatorial fight to the death in the West and will be exhausted. Easy pickings! Voilà, 25th Stanley Cup;

1 down, 3 to go. Sounds good to me. I can feel it, I'm giddy. Let's do this. GYFUnderdogHG.

~~~

Lightning crashes, and SFU cries
Mark Stone’s wrist sip falls to the floor
But now they open their eyes
Their confusion sets in
Before Don Cherry can even count to four

Lightning crashes, the NHL dies
Their intentions fall to the floor
The refs are closing their eeeyeeeeeyyeeeeeyes
The confusion that was theirs
Belongs now to the mediot down the hall

Oh we feel it comin' back again
Like a number 25 into the wind
Forces pullin' to la rue Ste-Catherine again
We can feel it

  Lightning crashes, and Ben Bishop cries
This moment we’ve been waiting for
Hockey Wives open their eyes
to the "o and five",
present last year's sweep
And put Les Glorieux ghosts up high, high

Oh we feel it comin' back again
Like a number 25 into the wind
Forces pullin' to la rue Ste-Catherine again
We can feel it
We can feel iiiiaaaaahhhhhh

[Bob Cold] Oh my [3x]

We can feel it comin' back again
Like a Hart and Vézina into the wind
Forces pullin' towards our man TFS again
We can feel it

We can feel it comin' back again
Like a Norris trophy into the wind
Forces pullin' towards our man PFK again
We can feel it

We can feel it comin' back again
Like a number 25 into the wind
Forces pullin' to la rue Ste-Catherine again
We can feel it
We can feel it
We can feel it
~~~