Jan 20, 2023

leaf$

 

$ $ $
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To every leafool burn, burn, burn
There is a post season to burn, burn, burn
And a time to every purpose under Keon

A time to be born in 1967, a time to lose every year since then
A time to plant another cheap jersey, a time to reap $ from clueless fans
A time to kill the Narcos story, a time to heal from Covid playoffs
A time to laugh which many do, a time to weep, nope fuck you

To everything leaf burn, burn, burn
There is a post season to burn, burn, burn
And a time to every purpose under Barilko

A time for the sfu to build them up, a time for them to always break down
A time to dance on their grave, a time to mourn is always my fave
A time to cast away Sittler
A time to gather waffles together

To everything burn, burn, burn
There is a post season to burn, burn, burn
And a time to every purpose under Zamboni driver

A time of love of 56 years, a time of hate from true Canadian fans
A time of war with all their so-called 'rivals', a time of peace, nope fuck that
A time you may embrace Thomas Plekanec
A time to refrain from embracing Tucker

To every leafool burn, burn, burn
There is a post season to burn, burn, burn
And a time to every purpo$e under Ballard

A time to gain the core four's millions, a time to lose in a game 7
A time to rain money on owners, a time of so what, fuck off
A time for Habs love, a time for leaf hate
A time for Bedard, I swear it's not too late ...
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95 comments:

  1. W O W

    Great (and timely) parody, moeman!

    BTW, I had that very same lunchbox and thermos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I kinda edited the pic of said lunchbox.

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    2. I had that lunch box too! And you've improved it immensely Sir Moe!

      Delete
  2. The naked shoveller is back right on track as winter finally found us in Halifax today. 20cm or so. Not too bad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, she isn't actually naked, I see a scarf, a tuque, mitts and boots. It is a photo in front of a Montréal establishment.

      Delete
  3. steve6:09 PM

    What a perfect post

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  4. the Maritimer6:10 PM

    Love that old pic of Ballard counting all that leafool cash.

    Is that Gorgeous who rejected the wretched leaf?

    So true showing the true leaf emblem on that game header.

    So appropriate that Toronto Sun cover and a great Habs memory eliminating those fucks.

    One thing narcos is really good at ... turtling.

    Finally, great parody of a great song.

    Oh yeah, always enjoy the almost naked shoveler. Tough Canadian girl.

    ReplyDelete
  5. the Maritimer6:13 PM

    If they are to have any chance of beating the putrid leaf, stay out of the fucking penalty box.

    ReplyDelete
  6. steve6:59 PM

    zero CHance to beat the putrid leaf, I just hope we keep it respectable and wifi does not fight, they are a bunCH of pussies. Last night Matheson gets a fine, well what about the hit on Wifi from behind. The whole NHL is like the miss universe pagent but more complicated without cat fights.

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  7. the Maritimer7:07 PM

    It will be Hockey Day in Toronto tomorrow so you know mclame and his gang of clowns will be salivating for a leaf win. At least we won't have to listen to gary gaulley but I'm sure chris butthurt's voice will be a few octaves higher when narcos and l'il mitchie are on the ice and simpleton will be gushing leaf praise constantly. Ha ha, fuck those losers ... 1967!

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  8. the Maritimer7:11 PM

    Don't know if you guys heard but HEOTP is shutting down. That's too bad they did some decent stuff on that site.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I follow Scott Matla on Twitter. He's devastated. It was a really great operation with excellent insights.

      Delete
  9. CHester8:53 PM

    That’s a shame it was one of my favourite stops
    Go Habs

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  10. And any leaf fan will try to convince you that Simpson hates their team. It's weird. I'll give him credit for one thing, he was smart enough to ditch his off her rocker wife.

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  11. So no tank tops against the leaf...pretty sure I stated at the beginning of the season thatbi didn't really expect much from them overall but demanded they beat the leaf. If they stay outta the box they will have a fighting chance. Bedard be dammed. This is the leaf. Never lose to the leaf... Ever!

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  12. CHester6:14 AM

    Agreed
    Must beat the leaf
    It seems I have lost some of my hatred of the beaners and have transferred it to the leaf
    Little mitchie must be stopped and I would like to see a mathason esq take out of captain underpants a la stall I don’t even care about a fine
    Go Habs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Maritimer10:11 AM

      Agreed. I would even contribute to paying MnM's fine.

      Delete
  13. Fun fact about that lunch box. The Kansas City Scouts franchise has three more cups than the Leafs since it joined the league.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Maritimer10:14 AM

      Hmmmmmm..... I had to dig deep into the ol' memory banks for that one. Kansas City >>> Colorado Rockies >>> New Jersey Devils. Correct?

      Delete
  14. Anonymous10:16 AM

    Holy Moley! I just realized the Giants are playing tonight, guess I'll be channel flipping.

    ReplyDelete
  15. the Maritimer10:42 AM

    Whiskey done for the season. The odds to get Bedard just went up.

    I would say the majority of my time tonight will be watching the Giants.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Maritimer10:58 AM

      Why do most of this team's players get injured? It seems like it's been going on for years.

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    2. It is mind-boggling. What a terrible shit sandwich that is for Whiskey. Belzile called up. JHFFB!

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    3. Ouf, not much reason to dial in the games. Having said that, not online tonight and missing the sfu hockey day joke. Go fuck yourself mclame.

      Delete
    4. the Maritimer12:30 PM

      Yep, Kent Hughes has decided to go all in in this Tank poker game. Watch Chi, Clb, Az, Ana, SJ and Van pull the chute as well trying to dive to or stay at the bottom. I likely won't watch many more games this season, maybe the odd period here and there. We have started watching The Last Ship, wow, it came out in 2014, pretty prescient at the time leading up to a global pandemic in 2020.

      Delete
    5. steve7:49 AM

      Love the ladies of the last ship

      Delete
  16. the Maritimer12:33 PM

    Just spun the Tankathon wheel twice and got Fantilli Lace twice at #2. Good omen.

    ReplyDelete
  17. What?! The F happened to CC? This occur in that fucking Panthers game? Goddammit...yeah so much for watching games this year. Might be just.the impetus I need to cut the cable again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They said he's been playing with it for awhile. Maybe that blind-side open-ice check he got slammed with a few games back?

      Delete
  18. In case you're wondering what the top line might now look like...

    Martin St-Louis indicates that Nick Suzuki should play on a line with Rem Pitlick and Josh Anderson tonight against Toronto.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ouch!

      Lep
      Druid
      MonaHab
      7evans
      GI Finn
      Whiskey

      Mercy!!

      Delete
  19. steve3:41 PM

    I dont know which direction or even where the horizen is. However I can say tank in every directioin.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Having our AHL team beat the leaf would take some sting out of losing Cole for the rest of the season.

    Is that asking too much?

    ReplyDelete
  21. the Maritimer6:47 PM

    I'd like to see Trevor Lawrence and the Jags knock off KC.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the Chiefs ..probably because I was fortunate enough to draft Mahomes as a rookie and keep him...but holy hell, moe's favourite colour guy Collinsworth needs to stop audibly blowing him constantly.

      Delete
  22. the Maritimer7:00 PM

    X-Man should have an easier night tonight, no one on the leaf will be looking to tangle with him.

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    Replies
    1. Wonder if he'll carry his bad mood from the FLA game over. A tilt with Wayne Simmonds could be in the cards.

      Delete
    2. the Maritimer7:21 PM

      Probably not a good idea for Wayne to do that. He's not that young anymore.

      Delete
  23. OK if they can't win (which seems likely), keep Underpants off the scoreboard at least.

    That is now all I ask.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Feels like I'm watching the Laval Rockets. Le sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  25. the Maritimer7:46 PM

    I just keep telling myself it's only the first year of a 4 or 5 year rebuild.

    ReplyDelete
  26. the Maritimer7:52 PM

    I watched the last 5 minutes of that period (after KC won), holy crap did that $50mil leaf PP ever look good against the Laval team. Well done Sheldon. The Toronto Milk Duds looked like world beaters.

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  27. Harvey! That big ol' rabbit!

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  28. the Maritimer8:50 PM

    There's the Daniel Jones I've been waiting for. Nice pick!

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  29. Hmmm
    .. Thinking about staying up to watch the 3rd...Do I dare...?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Keep crying Simpleton.

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  31. Laval Rocket take Leafs to OT. Already a W. Be nice to see them finish it off though.

    ReplyDelete
  32. the Maritimer9:42 PM

    Well, my Giants are taking a whoopin' , to be expected I guess, but the Habs take a point off the wretched leaf. Who woulda thunk it?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Shiny Happy Pitlick!

    Fuck you SFU!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Replies
    1. Shiny Happy I meant, like Saint Pad said.

      Fuck you SFU indeed. That's the REM we saw last season. Welcome back, you're just in time.

      Delete
  35. Replies
    1. You made the right choice staying up! Well done.

      Delete
    2. Hehe... Tank all they want just don't lose to the fuckin leaf is all I asked... Thanks boys!

      Delete
  36. the Maritimer9:47 PM

    Oh Fuck! Too funny!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. That is quite the thrashing the Giants are taking. Hey the Jags came back from 27 down last week...your guys can do 28...mmmm maybe not.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm just here laughing my fucking ass off, thinking about all the $$$ those Leaffools lost betting on their team tonight. Montembault was MontemBEAU again.

    ReplyDelete
  39. the Maritimer9:55 PM

    I'm laughing my ass off too, thinking about all the leafools that made the trek to Montreal, and they are always there believe me, I've been there a couple times. Hey, you can't take any team lightly right?

    Fuck you SFU! Eat shit leafools!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that's why I encountered all the hapless, shifty Ontario-plated drivers this afternoon.

      Delete
  40. Habs W? Check.
    No Narcos goal? Check.
    Confused 'panel'? Check.

    It was a helluva night.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Riley Kidney with 2G, 2A in the Olympiques' 6-2 win tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  42. CHester7:44 AM

    Sad for CC
    Under the knife
    However
    Les boyz have re established our total dominance over the leaf
    Just yes
    Yes
    Go Habs

    ReplyDelete
  43. steve7:49 AM

    shiny happy win

    ReplyDelete
  44. In my best HF29, 'what'd I miss?'

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  45. Awesome thread for a great result. Was at an anniversary gathering for the loss of my nephew 12 years yesterday. He was likely looking down on the Habs. GYFHG !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Maritimer10:15 AM

      Great win for your nephew, he had help as Mme. Beliveau was in attendance, Quebec royalty.

      Delete
  46. Just learned that it's the Year of the Rabbit. Go R Harvey-P!

    ReplyDelete
  47. the Maritimer2:15 PM

    Admittedly I didn't watch the whole Habs game as my attention was elsewhere until things got out of hand in Philly. That being said, I did see Powerhorse's goal and REM's winner. I hope KH and JG realize what they have in Josh. He was on a mission last night and he is a leaf killer. They have to hang onto this guy for the time being. Honorable mention goes to Shiny Happy Pitlick, his motor seemed to be revving hard last night. There might be a place for him once all the old deadwood is gone. Kirby Dach is going to be a beast. That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  48. CHester3:23 PM

    HEY ! Someone called Sheldon Keefe was quoted by the Toronto Sports Network as saying that " We were in TOTAL control of the game"
    Well shit WTF happened Sheldon??
    Oh that's right, you lost you dumb fuck. Oh that's right you lost AGAIN. That's five in a row.
    HA! The mighty leaf can't beat The Rocket.
    Sorry I'm just full of myself right now...
    Go Habs

    ReplyDelete
  49. CHester3:51 PM

    Oh and when they were talking to Captain Underpants about what went wrong nobody even mentioned the two goals in the first period.
    WTF
    That's what went wrong Sheldon.
    The rest of the game went right you stupid fucking morans.
    Woofh I'm on fire today.
    Go CHester
    Go Habs

    ReplyDelete
  50. the Maritimer4:07 PM

    Go CHester!

    One of the commenters at EOTP nailed it, calling the wretched leaf Team Oz. They are a team with no courage, no heart and no brains. Perfect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that IS good!

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    2. And it feels like Ballard is still the wizard behind the curtain.

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    3. heh, snet as the witch with her flying sfu monkeys.

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    4. And Dorothy Dubas with her little dog Toto Shanahan clicking her heels 👠👠 together three times to try to get to the second round.

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    5. ... and leafools = the lollipop guild ...

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  51. Watching Canada's Brooke Henderson dominate in the opening LPGA tournament this weekend.

    I should have signed a.new deal with Taylor Made too.

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  52. This cannot be improved upon ...

    We represent the Lullaby League, The Lullaby League, The Lullaby League
    And in the name of the Lullaby League,
    We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.
    We represent the Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild
    And in the name of the Lollypop Guild,
    We wish to welcome you to Muchkinland.
    We welcome you to Munchkinland, Tra la la la la la la
    From now on you'll be history.
    You'll be history, you'll be history, you'll be history.
    And we will glorify your name.
    You will be a bust, be a bust, be a bust
    In the Hall of Fame!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Bills in trouble.

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  54. I'm sure y'all are tuning into the Harold Ballard Story on CBC tonight...

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  55. Ahahaha...suck it Bills!

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    Replies
    1. the Maritimer7:15 PM

      Big time choke job. Doesn't the sfu think this is 'their' team? Makes sense then. LOL!

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    2. Deserved to lose.

      Delete
  56. the Maritimer7:17 PM

    Go Niners!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks 49ers.

      Also, was that cuthurt and simpleton with bias for their blue and white team ?

      Delete
  57. Rags beat the Panthers. Good good

    ReplyDelete
  58. the Maritimer9:09 AM

    I hope Vancouver gets that new coach bounce with Tocchet and Ottawa fires D.J. and hires Bruce Boudreau. Those two teams are trying to steal the Habs pick in the draft. Can't have that,

    ReplyDelete
  59. https://fourhockeyfans.blogspot.com/2023/01/beaners-as-per-chester.html

    ReplyDelete