“Hutson In The Fast Lane"
He was a smart-headed man,
He was baldly handsome,
And the D was terminally still
Gorton held him up,
And he held got him for ransom
In the heart of the cold, hockey city
He had an agent reputation as a smooth dude
They said he was ruthless, said he was crude
They had one thing in common, they were Hugood we said
We’d say, "Faster, faster. The drafts are turnin' blue, white n’ red."
Hutson in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Hutson in the fast lane
Are you with me so far?
Eager for action,
Hot for the game
The coming attraction,
The drop of a name
HuGo knew all the right people,
HuGo took all the right pills
Bergy threw outrageous contracts,
Habs paid heavenly bills
There were lines for the CHeerer,
Lines on a Stanley Cup race
We pretended not to notice,
We were caught up in the CHase
Out every evening,
Until it was right
Price was too tired to make it,
He was too tired to fight it
Hutson in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Hutson in the fast lane
Yeah
Hutson in the fast lane
Everything all the time
Hutson in the fast lane
Yeah yeah
Blowin' and burnin',
Blinded by being first
Bergy didn't see the stop sign,
Took a turn for the worst
We said, "Listen, Bergy. You can hear the engine ring.
We've been up and down this highway; haven't won a goddamn thing."
We said, "Call HuGo the doctor. I think we’re gonna crash."
"The doctor say he's comin', but Geoff’s gotta pay him cash."
They went rushin' down the Slafreeway,
Wright messed around and got lost
They didn't care they were just dyin' to get off
… and now its time for …
Hutson in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Hutson in the fast lane
Hutson in the fast lane
Everything all the time
Hutson in the fast lane
Hutson in the fast lane
Hutson nick should be Fast Lane !
~ ~ ~
The Eagles
ReplyDeleteWell done moe! golf clap
ReplyDeleteI am on side (after a lengthy review) of the Fast Lane nick over Rock. After all, just as there is only one Rocket, there is only one Rock in Montreal and he wore #30 pour Les Expos!
The Fast Lane is in Motor City. Let's fucking go! Put him in coach, he's ready to play.
I realize there was a Pocket Rocket, but still only one true Rocket.
DeleteClap clap clap. Fast Lane it is, great song parody btw, been a while since we've had one. Oh, and Ann-Margret was one of my teenage crushes, Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHeh, she was before my time, but I always remember the Ann Margrock episode of The Flintstones - Fred and Barney definitely had some tongue wagging going on.
DeleteAlso, did you know that if the wretched leaf don't win a Cup by 2030 their name will be removed from the Stanley Cup? Better get a move on there Austie and company.
ReplyDeleteI wonder who will have to sit for Fast Lane? I'm guessing HondaCivic.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, looking at Cap Friendly it's actually pretty obvious why the Habs are at the bottom of the standings. They have to be one of the cheapest teams in the league for spending on defence and goaltending. Six of the D listed are on ELCs, all less than $1mil per year and the 2 goalies combined are less than $2mil this year.
ReplyDeleteFunny how things have changed, biceps bergy spent a fortune on D and goalies but his forwards couldn't score a lick. Hopefully there will be more balance between F and D in the future.
Love the parody. Great job. Gonna mis Hutson's debut. Just fucking win.
ReplyDeleteMoeman, that is the best parody we've had in like, years! Growing up in the 70s, my dad was a huge Eagles fan and that Glen Healy song was well appreciated. Lots of good guitar licks too.
ReplyDeleteWe're not worthy!
GYFHG!
I think you meant Glen Frye ... Healy was just a leaf mouthpiece
DeleteDon Henley! What was I smokin?
DeleteYes, you're right that was a Henley song.
DeleteFast Lane gets his first NHL assist on what, his second shift??? Wowzers!
ReplyDeleteI mean, Lep!
DeleteRed Barron!
ReplyDeleteFast Lane!
ReplyDeleteVon Clumsy!
Oops, there's a dash one for Fast Lane.
ReplyDeleteI love his work ethic but more and more Anderson's just out there boosting the confidence of the other goalies.
ReplyDeleteHe has lost all his confidence. He needs to talk to G.I. Finn's mental coach.
DeleteIdk about pairing #8 and #52
ReplyDeleteSaucy!
ReplyDeleteThree smurfs doing in the Dead Things...
ReplyDeleteBlogger eating comments again
ReplyDeleteLep!
ReplyDeleteLep! Again!
ReplyDeleteUgh! Detroit does that same obnoxious WOO after a goal that the broons do. Now I hate them even more.
ReplyDelete24/25 - $222K
ReplyDelete25/26 - $2.2M
26/27 - $3.7M
27/28 - $1.7M
28/29 - $1.7M
29/30 - $1.7M
Buyout has to be a consideration for Anderson.
Unless you find a team to take him and eat 50% @ $2.75M for 3 more years.
If Hughes can find a taker for him over the summer he will be traded. Somewhere with less pressure on him. Salt Lake would be perfect and they will need salary to get to the floor.
DeleteIf not that, they will give him one more year to turn it around, then we'll see. Hughes managed to move Hoffman and a lot of people thought that was impossible.
OK boys lock this sucker down.
ReplyDeleteRefs are determined to find no reason to penalize any Red Wing player.
ReplyDeleteHabs forgot how to play hockey that period and now the dead things are not dead yet.
ReplyDeleteAt least tomorrow's game will have meaning, so there's that.
I'm so sick of blown leads.
ReplyDeleteWhen are they ever going to learn how to defend?
ReplyDeleteSo sick of fucking losing.
ReplyDeleteWell if I'm not mistaken the Phlyers are now eliminated from the playoffs. Sorry, not sorry.
ReplyDeleteDead things should be in
ReplyDeleteThey have more wins that warshingto
Go Habs
Fast Lane has more points for the Habs after 2 shifts than Colin White had in 28 games.
ReplyDeleteI truly hope the Colin White experiment is over.
DeleteIt is. Farewell and best wishes in Switzerland or wherever he ends up.
DeleteMailloux called up. Thought I'd never see the day. But he's earned it with his play and I daresay he's learned from his mistake in Sweden and grown from it.
ReplyDeleteWasn't long ago you needed to be pushing 100 points to get in the playoffs. In fact, the 21/22 Caps got the final wildcard spot with 100 pts (now the next best team had 84 pts so they didn't 'need' 100...). But before 2020, it was typically in the 97-98 point range. Last year FLA got in with 92 pts. this year a team could conceivably get in with 89 pts. 91 max.
ReplyDeleteOver the past three seasons, Habs have slowly progressed from 55 to 68 to 75 (max 77) this year.
They basically need to win another 10 games, preferably in regulation. Just need to score more goals and stop more pucks from entering your net. Seems easy enough. Get. a. goal. scorer. Controlling the offence more will lead to less defending and fewer goals against. 2 birds, one stone.
One more game ...
ReplyDeleteTankathon. First spin, Habs moved up 4 spots to grab 1st. Krakheads up 6 spots to 2nd.
ReplyDeleteHeading out for my first 9 holes of the season in about 1/2 hour. Got a 20 punch card for a nice little 9 hole, Par 30 course. It's a nice walk and course is always in excellent condition. And it's 5 minutes from home. Currently 11° - perfect.
ReplyDeleteWell, colour me green with envy.
DeleteStill a couple weeks away for my course.
Last game. Updated.
ReplyDeleteThose are some serious buttocks friend... 👀
DeleteNice boys
ReplyDeleteI don’t have a course sadly
Go Habs
Look powerhorse is just on a cooler. The guy gets 5 grade A scoring chances a game. We can make him stronger. Fast Lane, well okay, but what about Super Meat, or Rock Fast. Rock Fast a go go.
ReplyDeleteHe may only be a uroligist, but he is a big part of a cup winner. We have a defense that would make the Emperour of China jelous because it was more beautiful than his concubines. And belive me the history major, those were some damm fine concubines. Loose to night or win makes no diff. I did the Tankathon for an hours and never got above 5, just moving down all the time.
TJ!
ReplyDeleteIst NHL point for Mr. Logan Mailloux
DeleteWhiskey!
ReplyDeleteWhiskey; From a beauty play by the captain!
ReplyDeleteNot sure what CP30 was looking at there.
ReplyDeleteNo pp time for Habs in the last four games EXCEPT when playing another Cdn team. Things that make you go hmm.
ReplyDeleteWas thinking Detroit should change their nickname to Angels.
DeleteGlad I said something, lol
DeleteThere we go. 🙂
DeleteIt's a landslide now!
DeleteThe Detroit crew are clear homers but very complementary of the young Habs team. They even spend time in their intermission hiliting some of their plays. I've found this with most of the American feeds. So it is literally just Shitnet that hates the Habs (probably NESN too but that judgement will have to wait until next year, and I'll only watch if Jack Edwards retires).
ReplyDeleteHey if you wish hard enough, dreams do come true! Edwards IS retiring.
DeleteThe tending has been less than stellar these last two games.
ReplyDeleteLast Fast Slaf Lane!
ReplyDelete20 for #20
DeleteAt 20 years of age.
Delete15 for #15 tonight too.
DeleteSlaf! After a beautiful Blueline dance by Fast Lane!
ReplyDeleteThe fuck is wrong with this team?
ReplyDeleteWell there. Habs finish the season without a regulation loss in their last five games. See, I'm being positive.
ReplyDeleteIt was the funnest season in at least three. They gave it their all.
DeleteHabs will have 6th best odds unless Utah gets at least one point vs the Oil tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI didn't comment much yesterday, nothing Habs related anyway, as I was still pissed off at the collapse and loss in Detroit. I had nothing positive to say so kept quiet. I suspected the same thing would happen last night and I was correct. I recorded the game and haven't erased it as yet but it's doubtful I bother to watch. I was on my laptop and keeping an eye on the comments so I was aware of what was happening so thanks to SiM and Saint paddy for that.
ReplyDeleteJust a few comments though, 1) As I figured, so many "the future is bright" articles this morning and that's fine but, if the Habs don't learn how to defend a lead in the 3rd period or defend a 6 on 5 and get some saves, the future will still be a lottery pick. 2) Saint Paddy got his wish, Jackass Edwards is retiring leaving only the putrid Gary Galley left to haunt Habs fans. Cuntbert and Homer, fuck them, they can continue their leaf blowing ways who cares.
One other thing, if you take a look at the top teams in the league you will note that they are VETERAN LADED teams. Dallas, Rangers, Tampa, Florida, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Vancouver, very few if any rookies and not many under 25ers, so let's keep our expectations realistic next year.
DeleteEspecially on D. Like him or not, Grant McCagg is spot on with this article. Well worth the read. https://recrutes.ca/habs-will-not-be-trading-matheson/
DeleteSpot on. Keep them both.
DeleteWe haven't seen a 62 pt season from a d-man since Vodkov in the aughts. They both are Quebecers who love playing and living here (and their famikies) and can do interviews in both official languages flyently. Chewy has a Cup ring, Maths had the experience of playing with Cup winners Letang, Sid and Malkin. Both have a lot more to offer the CH youngsters as the team gels into a contender.
DeleteGo broons
ReplyDeleteThe Montreal Canadiens have exercised the two-year option of the contract of head coach Martin St. Louis, committing him to the team for the next three seasons.
ReplyDeleteGreat news!
DeleteI've stayed quiet a lot more this year but feel like I've followed the Habs more than ever. It can be a rough watch at time but I believe the best is yet to come and pretty soon. Let's see what happens in the off season. Habs need goal scorers. End of!
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you Moeman for another great season and for giving us a place to vent and share. GYFHG!
ReplyDeleteIndeed, thanks to brother moe for giving the very few of us left who post semi-regularly a venue to talk, rant, or make jokes. I have never trashed anyone's opinion of had anyone trash mine. Go over to EOTP and read some of the comments there, it's awful sometimes. Plus, we have the sexiest blog on the web. Cheers!
DeleteThanks Moeman for keeping on keeping on. This year we will finally see some reason to continue. The only thing I worry about is talent retention. Ghost, Rock Fast, Rainman, and Logans run. Is that not a big 3 and a half men? We are going to get an absoulte stud at 5 to 7.
DeleteOwen and Mesar are tearing up the NHL. Goalies, we got goalies. Also on the bus we have solid cup winning depth and SLAFZILLA will be a top ten NHL player.
Since we are now officially in the off season, let the speculation begin. I'm just throwing this out there:
ReplyDeleteMontreal's 1st 2024, Colorado's 2nd 2024, a defenceman not named Matheson, Guhle, Xhekaj or Hutson and Mesar for San Jose's 1st 2024.
Would Mike Grier consider it? Too much? Not enough?
This is assuming they have the #1 pick of course. And assuming the Habs are still at 5 or 6 (should somebody below them win the 2nd pick). Sounds like Mac the Knife is more like Jonathon Toews than a McDavid, McJesus or Underpants type of #1. And there is nothing wrong with having a Toews on the team! I would even give Winnipeg's 1st in place of Colorado's 2nd in this deal. And maybe even give them 2 D. Mailloux would probably have to be one, and maybe Barron or Struble the other. I wouldn't give ReinbaCHer up. I looked at the SJ roster seeing if another piece could come back and I honestly only recognize about 4 names on that team. It's a wonder they got as many points as they did.
DeleteYes, regarding who picks where, I was a little tired when I posted that fantasy scenario last night. It all depends where buttman's balls drop (pun intended). Somebody posted a conspiracy theory yesterday that Montreal actually won the Bedard sweepstakes last year but the league wanted the Wirtz's to get him to rebuild that franchise and promised Geoff they would get Celebrini this year. Sure, I'll buy that.
DeleteAnyway, I've seen lots of names bandied about that Hughes and company might take a swing at with their plethora of picks like Zegras, Necas, Johnson (CLB) Laine, etc. I think Kent needs to think even bigger. If the wretched leaf bow out early again, why not Wet Willie, the Anxious Marner or gasp! Fashion Queen Matthews?
Willie is not the answer, he is the problem.
DeleteThank you Moeman for all us lurkers out there. Daily reader not a commenter.
ReplyDeleteJamie
Huge props to moe and Saint Paddy both for keeping this place up and happening.
ReplyDeleteDespite the Habs being finished it was a great night of hockey.
ReplyDeleteWretched leaf beat down by another Florida team and no 70 for Underpants. Clowns at SFU are so sad.
Utah with the big W to vault past the Habs, giving us the five hole again this year. I think the lottery gods are going to smile upon us...and won't be shocked if it's Utah.
I think the Utah Sisterwives are a sure bet for #1, a big favour to Ryan Smith for bailing out buttman and company.
DeleteProps to moeman et all for this place
ReplyDeleteIt’s CHesters favourite stop on the interwebs containing all the right politics and none of all the wrong shit permeating society today
We are birds of a feather
We hate cotu and the beaners, mclaim and his group of fuckwits
And all our passion is correctly placed where it should be
So
Bring on the draft and the off-season
Bring on victory to the beaners to dispose of the leaf trash and then bring on victory to the rags to go for the cup
And as we say in the bell province
Salut le visit
Go Habs
As we used to say in the 70's Right On CHester!
DeleteIdk if it 's too much to hope for but a rematch in the final between Vancouver and Boston would be fun.
ReplyDeleteBolts, Beaners, Rags, Canes... book these in Round 1
ReplyDeleteFlorida in 7
ReplyDeleteBroons in 5
Rangers in 6
Isles in 7
Vegas in 7
DeleteVancouver in 6
Avs in 6
Edmonton in 6
The hockey gods have spoken and they say, dont show your undies in public.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the NHL (we guess), Salt Lake City.
ReplyDeleteNew team nick: the Utah-ta, Arizonans
Also: the Utah Toligists would make a lot of sense.
DeleteI picked my playoff pool players last night and it was tough fitting 20 players --- 12F 6D 2G --- under a salary cap. Plus you could only pick a maximum of 3 players from on team. I went with mainly NYR, Dal, Win, Car, Fla to get out of the first round. No stinkin' beaners or wretched leaf on my squad.
ReplyDeleteI took MoneyHab and Toffee from the Jets for sentimental reasons plus they had low salaries. I also took Hillbillybuck as one of my goalies.
Deletehttps://fourhockeyfans.blogspot.com/2024/04/season-is-over-but-there-were-some-ice.html
ReplyDelete